The Space Where You Belong
by morethanmyself
Summary: Jaded with love and resigned to being alone, Bella moves across the country to start over. There, she meets her quirky, bronze-haired neighbor, who just might change her mind.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I have had the worst time writing lately, and this is just a little story I started to try to work through it. No update schedule and nothing more than a general idea of where it's going, it's something of a vacation for my slightly control-freak tendencies, lol. Thanks for joining me for the ride. :)

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><p><em>You look so defeated lying there in your new twin size bed.<em>

_With a single pillow underneath your single head._

_I guess you decided that that old queen holds more space than you would need._

_Now it's in the alley behind your apartment with a sign that says it's free. _

~ _Your New Twin Sized Bed_, Death Cab for Cutie

Bella Swan gratefully allowed her old queen mattress to fall to the ground in front of her apartment building before dropping down on top of it and stretching out, trying to catch her breath. Her long, dark brown hair was in a disarray, strands falling out of her rubber band and into her eyes, clinging uncomfortably to her sweaty neck. The sun beat down on her uncomfortably and was blinding even behind her closed eyelids. After struggling down two flights of stairs and across the yard with the heavy, awkward thing, she was drenched in sweat and panting pathetically. It didn't help that in an effort to save trips back upstairs, she was also grappling with a large cardboard sign that said "FREE" to place at the curb on top of the mattress. She really hoped that someone would take the damned thing because the thought of having to haul it to Goodwill in her Honda Civic made her want to cry.

_You have no one to blame but yourself_, she internally chided. And it was true. She chose to move clear across the country to Jacksonville, Florida, from her native Forks, Washington, leaving behind the dreary, rainy Pacific Northwest for the too-bright sun and subtropical heat. The persistent rain wasn't all she'd left behind. Her father, Charlie, and best friend, Rose, were amongst the discarded relics of her former life.

If she'd been smart, she would have gotten rid of the mattress before she left, instead of loading it into the U-Haul. But in her rush to leave, she and her father threw everything she owned into the back of the truck, hooked up her little green sedan to the trailer, and she was gone before the sun had set. She was a freelance editor, so as long as she had an Internet connection, she could work, which allowed her to take her time running away, stopping to see the country as she went. Which maybe meant it wasn't so much running away as slowly jogging away or perhaps even power walking away.

Well, whatever you called it, the sum total was that she left behind everything that wouldn't fit in the truck, including her ex-husband, Jake, and his newly ringed fiancee.

It would have been easy to assume that she was the angry, bitter divorcee who was traded out for a newer model, but nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter was, she and Jake never should have married. But when thirty was looming and she had only ever had a handful of short-lived relationships, she finally relented, giving in to his repeated suggestion that they could be good together-happy, even. Jake Black had been her best friend since she was a toddler, and she knew they got along well enough. The sex was okay, not earth shattering or mind blowing, but then again, outside of smutty romance novels, she'd never been privy to anything other than okay sex. Their friendship didn't really change once they were married; they just lived in the same house, slept together on occasion, and were the assumed 'plus one' to all their other friends' weddings and baby showers. It was exceedingly comfortable...boring, but comfortable.

She couldn't even play the roll of the jilted lover. Jake had done everything honorably when he realized he was in love with Rennie Masen. Bella remembered the day she knew that her marriage was a lost cause. She stopped by the autobody shop Jake owned to drop off some paperwork he had forgotten. The new secretary, a girl who looked to be in her mid twenties with curly light brown hair and vivid blue eyes, was sitting at the desk. At the tinkling of the bell on the door, she greeted Bella cheerily. "Hey, can I help you?"

"Yeah, is Jake in?" Bella had asked.

The girl's face lit up at the mention of Jake and she nodded her head. "Just a sec, I'll page him for you."

"Oh, that's okay, I'll just drop this stuff off in his office; he left it at home this morning."

Her smile faltered just slightly as she realized who Bella was, but she quickly recovered, bouncing out of her seat and rushing to Bella, sticking her hand out. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Black, I didn't recognize you! I'm Rennie; they just hired me last week. Nice to meet you!"

Bella reached out to shake her hand, quickly correcting her, "It's Swan actually, but just Bella is fine. It's nice to meet you, too! You're not from Forks, right?"

"No, Hoquiom. I lived there all my life but wanted to try something different. I saw the job ad and well, here I am." She laughed easily, shrugging.

Just then, Jake came in, wiping his greasy hands on a blue shop towel, smiling at Bella and Rennie. His gray jumpsuit fit tightly across his broad, muscular shoulders, and his long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He didn't set her heart racing by any means, but he was still nice to look at. "I thought I heard your voice," he said to Bella, kissing her gently on the cheek in greeting. His eyes shifted to the other woman. "Rennie, you should have paged me." But there was no admonishment behind his words.

"Nah, it's okay, I was just going to put these in your office. Rennie offered, but I didn't want to bother you."

There was a niggling of something in her mind, even then, in a perfectly innocent moment, that told her to pay attention. The thought wasn't threatening or possessive, more curiosity. So, as she waved goodbye to the pair and went out to her car, she paused for just a moment to watch them undetected. Jake had walked up to the counter standing on one side while Rennie returned to her seat on the other, and what she saw wasn't at all untoward or sordid, there were no lingering glances, no shy touches, but looking at the two of them was like looking at two parts of a whole. When Rennie shifted to the right, so did Jake, when he tucked a piece of his loose hair back, she reached up to do the same to her own. The pull between them was tangible, visceral. And it was obvious that it was completely unconscious on both of their parts; neither of them had any idea that they were doing it.

Bella went home that day resigned that things were going to work out the way they worked out. She truly loved Jake, but they weren't _in love_, and because she loved him, she couldn't begrudge him the chance to be with someone who deserved him, someone who was meant for him. When the time came for a decision to be made, she wasn't going to stand in his way.

Things had been fairly normal for the next couple of months. Rennie's name made a frequent appearance in her and Jake's conversations about the shop, and she became a fixture at their barbecues that summer. They never talked about it, but it was obvious to everyone that Rennie fit into Jake's life in a way that Bella never had.

The first time Rose had seen the two of them together, she pulled Bella aside in a fit of anger and worry.

"You have to tell him to fire her! You can't just let this go on!" Rose said, indignantly.

Bella just smiled at her friend, knowing that her tendency to sometimes be overbearing came from a place of love and protectiveness. "I'm not doing that, Rose. I'm not interfering," she said firmly.

"You have to be fucking kidding me! You're going to just let that hussy come in and steal your husband? You're just going to sit back and let them fuck right under your nose?"

At that, Bella stiffened, her cheeks flushing with anger. "You know as well as I do that Jake would never do that. And no, if I truly thought he was cheating, I wouldn't just sit back. But I also refuse to play the part of the jealous, possessive wife. I trust Jake to do the right thing."

"And when he comes to you and tells you he's in love with her, you're just going to let him go?" Rose asked sarcastically.

"Yep, pretty much."

Rose gave her a look of pity, shaking her head.

Her friend had always said that Bella didn't believe enough in her own worth, while Bella held that she was just realistic. At the time, she thought Rose's pity was born from their old argument. But, now, laying here in the hot Florida sun, tired and alone, she got the feeling that there had been more to it.

Pursuing that line of thought seemed futile, though. It was easy for someone like Rose to pity her, Rose had found her 'one,' Emmett McCarty, in high school and had never spent a moment apart from him. Where as Bella had sat by and watched as, one by one, her friends settled down in relatively happy marriages, always wondering what was so wrong with her that no one could hold her attention long enough for things to get serious. She was resigned to having a comfortable, safe marriage with Jake, someone to share her life with and grow old with. But if she couldn't even hold on to that, then obviously she was just destined to be alone. And she could live with that...would _have_ to live with that.

And that was how, just months after her four-year-old marriage was dissolved, and a few weeks after Jake had proposed to Rennie, she found herself clear on the other side of the country. She couldn't sit by and watch as everyone she knew took on that same look of pity that Rose had given her. She wanted to start over, new city, new home, new outlook on life. She could be alone by choice here, make a conscious decision to live her life for herself, and not live with the stigma attached to being the perpetually single woman in a town of happy couples.

Feeling resolved and lighter from her internal pep-talk, she finally sat up and opened her eyes, momentarily blinded, and rubbing them trying to bring the world back into focus. She figured she should probably get up, lest the neighbors think she was crazy, napping on a mattress on the lawn, in the middle of the day. Movement behind her caused her to spin around with a yelp, the sudden motion making her slip off the edge of the mattress, landing on her ass unceremoniously on the ground.

There laying beside her, sprawled out on his back with his arms resting comfortably behind his head was the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen. His reddish brown hair shimmered in the sunlight, and his green eyes almost perfectly matched the grass just inches away from his head. His blue tee-shirt clung to his chest, riding up just enough to show the muscles of his lower abdomen and the light dusting of hair leading down. And he was grinning at her.

"Nice day for a nap, huh?"

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><p>AN: Thoughts? If you're interested, please be sure to review and let me know-it'll motivate me to finish the rest of Ch. 2 that's sitting in my gdoc folder. ;)

Thanks to Kas90 for beta'ing, and Sammielynnsmom and KrisScott for pre-reading.

Follow me on twitter (at)Morethanmyself

I own nothing. Until next time! ~Kimberly


	2. Chapter 2

His impish grin momentarily silenced her, suppressing the scream that would have been the more appropriate response. She blinked rapidly in confusion, desperate to clear her mind and figure out what the hell was going on. Sure, she was sprawled out on the lawn on a mattress, but did that really give random passersby the right to just cop-a-squat here with her?

"So, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" he asked cheekily.

"You...I...you...what," she spluttered, her tongue tripping over the backlog of questions piling up in her head.

He sat up to face her, holding his hand, whether in greeting or to help her up off the ground, she couldn't tell. Not that it mattered, she wasn't taking the hand of the man who thought it appropriate to just lay down beside her without being invited.

Raising his eyebrow, he simply shrugged at her snub. "Edward Cullen, 2B. You must be the girl in 2A. Mr. Molina said you'd be moving in soon."

Bella continued to stare for another beat before her mouth finally remembered how to move. "Get the hell off my mattress! What is wrong with you? Who does that-decides to just lay down next to a stranger? I know they say people in the South are friendly, but this is just ridiculous!"

"Well, how am I supposed to know if I like it enough to take it if I don't try it out?" he said, picking up the "FREE" sign off the ground and waiving it around for emphasis, completely undeterred by her outburst.

Standing up and brushing the bits of grass and dirt from her shorts, Bella just pursed her lips in annoyance. "And you couldn't wait until I got up?"

He smirked at her suggestively. "I wanted to make sure it was comfortable enough for both of us. And, I must say, you fit perfectly beside me."

She took a deep breath; getting into an argument with the new neighbor wouldn't do, especially on her first day here. "Whatever. Take it if you want it, but I'm not helping you carry it back up the stairs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have unpacking to finish." With that, Bella turned on her heel and stomped back into the building. Somehow, without even looking, she could feel his eyes glued to her ass as she ascended the red brick steps in front of the door that led into the building. Even stranger was the involuntary hip wiggle that accompanied the realization of his perusal.

"Hey, you didn't tell me your name!" he called after her. She didn't even turn around.

Her front door clicked behind her, and she leaned against the door frame, trying to calm her mind and shake off the disquieting conversation she'd just had with a virtual stranger. The cold air of the a/c felt nice against her overheated skin, and she took a moment to appreciate the cool and look around the space that was hers and hers alone.

One of the things that had drawn her to this building, even just seeing the pictures on the Internet, were the original, period details. All the units had beautiful, honey-colored hardwood floors, crown molding, and, her personal favorite, floor-to-ceiling windows that faced the front yard and flooded the whole front of the apartment with natural light. The building was located in an historic area of Jacksonville called Riverside. The neighborhood was built in the 1920s, and her four-unit building also dated to that time period. The whole area felt like taking a step back in time-large, historic houses on spacious lots, tree lined streets, an abundance of parks and shopping within walking distance. There was even a library just blocks from her apartment.

A small smile crept across her face, and she sighed contentedly, thinking about how perfect the area was for her. She could truly see herself here for the long-term. Glancing at her watch, she realized that it was just past two, and the furniture delivery truck would be there soon with her new bed, so a path from the front door to the bedroom would be her first order of business. She was glad that things were in the correct room; the movers she'd hired to unload the U-Haul had been especially conscientious, making the task before her much less daunting.

Pushing off the wall, she walked to the box of books already in front of one of the many book cases and began to take them out and arrange them on the shelves. Immediately, the place began to feel more like home.

It wasn't long before there was a loud knock on her front door, and she stood up, leaning back quickly to stretch and pop her back before walking to the front door. Peeking through the peep-hole, she verified that it was the delivery guys before opening the door. As soon as she did, she inwardly groaned when she realized that her new, overly-friendly, neighbor was also standing there. She gave him a dirty look before turning her attention back to the large, uniformed man, holding a clipboard out for her.

"Isabella Swan? I need you to sign the first page, initial the last two, and then point me to where you want the bed set up, please."

She glanced up to see Edward grinning like the cat who ate the canary; he had obviously heard her name. She rolled her eyes, but inside her heart skipped a beat at the way his verdant eyes danced with mischief, and a dimple appeared on his left cheek. He looked incredibly carefree and young.

Shaking her head gently to stop that line of thought, she signed the papers and then walked the delivery guy through her apartment and pointed to the corner where she wanted the bed. Once he started hauling in pieces of the beautiful white, wooden frame of her new daybed, Bella looked around for a place to sit out of the way while he worked. Unfortunately, because of all the boxes everywhere, there really wasn't anywhere inside the apartment, and she was forced to retreat out to the hallway. She grabbed a cold bottle of water from the kitchen before walking out the front door and sliding down the wall on the opposite side of the hallway, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Her body was glad for the respite, despite the bits of sand biting into her sweaty legs.

She didn't see Edward anywhere, which helped her relax even further. Bella closed her eyes and allowed her head to fall back against the wall. The sound of twin foot steps coming up the stairs snapped her eyes open, and she watched as the delivery guy hauled the first brown cardboard box up the stairs. Just behind him was Edward, carrying an identical box. She had no idea why he had taken it upon himself to pitch in, not that she begrudged the delivery man the help, but...it just didn't make any sense.

Suddenly it occurred to her that he might be looking to get inside her apartment. He didn't strike her as a serial killer, but with a cop for a father, safety and caution had been ingrained in her from an early age. Just as she about to jump to her feet and stop him from entering, he leaned the box against the wall by her front door, making no attempt to move inside. As he straightened up, he flashed her a crooked smile and then lopped back down the stairs without comment.

Bella's brow furrowed as she stared after him. She hadn't even known this man a full day, and he had managed to completely confound and confuse her, defying her expectations at every turn. From the way he had invaded her personal space this afternoon by lying next to her, she wouldn't have expected him to think twice about walking into her apartment uninvited, and yet he didn't hesitate at staying in the hall. Not to mention that, despite her curtness with him earlier, he was still helping to haul the bed pieces up the stairs, also seemingly without a second thought.

She watched for the next several minutes as Edward and the delivery guy finished moving the pieces upstairs, until the truck was apparently empty, and the two of them hauled up the mattress she'd worked her ass off getting down just hours before. They walked it into Edward's apartment, barely sparing her a glance as she kept her watchful post on the floor. She peered in after them, trying to discern any details about his place. He was such a mystery to her that she couldn't help but wonder about where he lived. Did he keep pictures of his family up on the wall? What kind of food was in his refrigerator? Was his apartment neat and orderly, or did he go for that bachelor-lived-in look?

There was no time to get answers, though, because just moments after they'd entered, the two men re-emerged, shaking each other's hands and thanking one another for helping. The delivery guy walked towards her door, informing her he'd just be another minute and then he'd be out of her hair. She smiled and thanked him before awkwardly turning her attention to the now-empty bottle of water in her hands, her fingers clearing random patterns in the condensation that had formed on the outside. She was acutely aware of Edward's presence in the small hallway but had no idea what to say.

What she really wanted was to retreat to her apartment and close the door, putting some much needed space between her and this man who had managed to render her formerly coherent and logical thoughts into disarray. She had so many questions for him, so many things she wanted to know. And every one of those questions was in direct opposition to the sole reason she had moved all the way across the country. She was here to form a new life, learn to rely solely on herself, not moon over a random stranger with an amazing ass (she couldn't have helped but notice that with as many times as he'd jogged up and down the stairs in the last fifteen minutes).

Her resolve reaffirmed, she straightened her spine and rose from the ground, determined to set aside this awkward tension and forge a cordial, if distant, neighborly relationship. She finally allowed her eyes to land on him, fully expecting to see the playful, smug look he'd worn most of the afternoon. Instead she was greeted once again by something all together unexpected. Edward was staring at her intently, his head cocked to the side, brow furrowed, and he was worrying his bottom lip in concentration. He wore a look of extreme confusion and puzzlement, as if _she_ were the mystery here, and not himself.

The meeting of their eyes seemed to snap him out of it; he gave her one last deep look before rearranging his features into what she now thought of as his customary crooked grin. Despite his attempt to make her more comfortable, she still felt oddly unsettled by his scrutiny.

"Well, I'm going to..."

"Why did you..."

They began speaking at the same time, both stopping with a nervous laugh. Edward gestured towards her with an indulgent smile. "You first."

"Oh, um, I was just going to say that I was heading inside to see if he needed anything. It was nice of you to help today, so...yeah, thank you for that," she said awkwardly.

"It wasn't completely altruistic; he offered to help me get the other mattress up the stairs, since _someone_ refused," he told her teasingly, his eyes once again sparkling with mischief, causing her to take a deep breath to steady herself. It was definitely time to go in-she needed to clear her head and get her body under control.

"Yes, well, thank you nonetheless. Um, it was...nice to meet you," she rushed out turning towards her door, intent on making her escape. She could feel his questioning gaze on her, but he didn't voice whatever he was going to ask earlier.

Hours later, tucked into her new bed, surrounded by half-empty boxes and the unfamiliar sounds of a new apartment, her last thought before falling to sleep was of questioning green eyes and the unsettling feeling that maybe for the first time in her life, someone actually saw her. And she wasn't so sure that she wanted to be seen.

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><p>AN: Holy cow there are a lot of you, way more than I've ever seen for the first chapter of a story! *waves* Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. Your encouragement got this chapter finished up in a week, so please keep it up, I swear it makes me write faster!

I actually grew up in Jacksonville, and Riverside is without a doubt my favorite part of the city. Their building is based on an apartment I lived in; it was absolutely gorgeous-though sadly, I had no hot neighbor-boy.

Thanks to the usual suspects, Kas90 for beta'ing, and Sammielynnsmom and KrisScott for pre-reading. I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	3. Chapter 3

"So, Ms. Swan, we meet again," Edward greeted her, his dimples on full display and green eyes dancing with amusement. It had been several days since she'd seen him, which made her simultaneously grateful for the distance and disappointed at his absence. In the time since she'd last seen him, she'd managed to convince herself that her reaction was due to too much sun and the unfamiliar heat that seemed to shimmer in the air here. But the proximity of his body as they stood beside one another to check their mail, caused her stomach to flutter strangely, sending a line of heat through her.

Bella took a deep breath, closing the small metal door of her box and turning the key in the lock before stepping back to give herself some room before answering. "Yes, Mr. Cullen, it would appear so," she said with a small smile, trying to nonchalantly flip through the mail stacked in her arms. Her instinct was to make a hasty retreat, but she fought against it. This weird...whatever it was, wasn't going to run her off every time she came across him. He was just one of her neighbors, and there was no reason for him to effect her like this.

_There was also no reason for him to appear in her dreams with alarming frequency, but that didn't seem to stop, either._

She was perfectly capable of talking to Victoria and Jane, the nice lesbian couple who lived below her, without feeling awkward and uneasy. And, of course, she was cordial to the landlord, Mr. Molina, who lived in the other downstairs apartment. Truly, Edward was no different than any of those people. He was just her neighbor...her incredibly hot, intriguing neighbor, but neighbor nonetheless.

He finished pulling his own stack of mail from his box and locking it up before turning to her. "How do you like the city so far?" he asked, for once engaging in a topic of polite conversation that one would expect from a new acquaintance, which somehow threw her, again, for a loop. Edward Cullen was anything but predictable.

"Uh, it's nice. I really like the neighborhood. It's a very interesting mix of people," she said diplomatically.

Edward laughed out loud at her assessment of the area. "Not from a big city?"

Bella blushed, feeling embarrassed that it was obvious just how naive and sheltered she truly was. She had grown up in a town where the most exciting thing that ever happened was the time Mrs. Cope chased her husband out of the house wearing nothing but a bath towel, brandishing a toilet brush at him. Of course, she'd lived in Seattle for six years while going to U-Dub, but she'd lived in on-campus housing and wasn't much of a partier. The odd two A.M. trip to Walmart with Rose was about as much exposure as she ever had to the seedier side of the city. In stark contrast, just yesterday, she saw what looked to be a pimp, complete with a purple velvet coat, a fedora with a feather, and a cane, waiting for a city bus in front of an expensive, high-rise apartment building.

"No, a tiny little town in Washington State. I think the neighborhood here has more people than all of Forks." She smiled, trying to hid her awkwardness.

Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, you're quite a ways from home. Did you move for work?"

She involuntarily blanched at the question, realizing that she really didn't want to have this conversation with him in the hallway of the building...or anywhere else for that matter. The last thing she needed was for him to know just how pathetic she really was. Swallowing quickly, she smiled up at him vaguely. "Yeah, something like that. Are you from Jacksonville?"

"Sort of. We moved down here when I was in high school. I lived in Chicago a few years while I went to Northwestern, but my family's all down here, so I came home a couple of years ago after I graduated."

Bella opened her mouth to express her surprise at how young he was, but she quickly changed her mind. His age was completely irrelevant.

"What?" he asked with a small laugh.

"Nothing, it's nothing. So, Northwestern, that's impressive; what'd you study?"

"Marketing. Now, what were you going to say?" He smirked at her, causing her cheeks to warm at being called out on an obvious subject change.

"I was just going to say that you're a lot younger than I would have guessed."

Edward quirked his eyebrow, obviously amused, and was just about to respond when her phone began to sound from somewhere deep in her purse, the tone telling her it was Rose. She started digging around, trying to find it amongst the detritus and debris that somehow always accumulated in her bag.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this," she said, smiling apologetically. "I'll see you around." Her hand finally latching onto the the illusive phone and began jogging up the stairs as she answered. "Rose, hey, hold on just a second."

Cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder, she opened her door, setting her bag on the chair just inside the apartment, keeping the mail in her hand. Once her shoes were discarded, she turned her attention to her friend.

"Okay, sorry, I was just walking in the door and I had to put some stuff down. How's it going?" she asked, plopping down on the couch.

"Good, same as always. I miss your ass," Rose replied, a teasing smirk clear in her tone, though Bella knew she meant it. "So, have you seen Hot Neighbor Guy lately?"

Bella groaned, dropping her head back to the cushion behind her. "Do we really have to start every conversation like this, Rosalie?"

"Hey, don't blame me! I mean, he could have been The Amazingly Sweet Neighbor Guy Who Helped Carry Up The Bed, but nooo, the first words out of your mouth were how hot he is. Tell me, how is that _my_ fault?" her friend teased her mercilessly.

There was no deterring Rose once she found a way to annoy Bella. One of the down-falls of knowing someone for twenty years is that they felt free to occasionally piss you off a little just so they could laugh about it. Sighing in defeat, Bella gave in. "Actually, I was just talking to him downstairs, and apparently I'm officially a cougar or puma or whatever the hell they call old women who drool over hot younger guys."

Rose laughed loudly. "Sweetheart, I'm pretty sure that the mere fact you can barely talk to him disqualifies you from puma status. So, how old is he, anyway?"

"Uh, I don't exactly know. Somewhere between twenty-six and thirty, maybe."

"Really, is that all? I thought you were going to tell me he was twenty or something. Yeah, you definitely don't get to label yourself a puma," Rose said. In her mind, Bella could see her rolling her eyes.

"Do you remember the shit you gave me over Jake? And he's barely a year younger!" she said, indignantly.

"Well, that had more to do with the fact that it was Jake than anything. Jackass," Rose said venomously. It seemed funny in an ironic kind of way that for as much as she worked to not hate Jake and to recognize the inevitability of the situation, Rose made no such effort. She hated Jake fiercely. The two had never gotten along particularly well, but they had managed to maintain a cordial, if always slightly strained relationship for Bella's sake. Now, Rose took every available opportunity to elucidate her loathing.

Bella was suddenly struck with just how much she missed her best friend and wished she were here. It had been easy to see this move as an adventure, to feel the freedom that came from picking up and starting over. But, now that the sense of adventure had worn off, and real life was creeping in, she was acutely aware of just how _alone_ she was.

"God, I miss you, Rose," Bella said, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice as the unexpected sense of homesickness washed over her.

"So come home, Bella-baby. We're all here for you," Rose replied insistently.

"You know I can't do that. It's just...too awkward. I want him happy, I do, but I don't necessarily want to have it rubbed in my face that I couldn't give him that."

Rose sighed heavily. "I know, sweets. But it's still weird not having you here. I don't think it ever occurred to me that you wouldn't always be, you know?"

Bella picked up the mail from beside her on the couch and began to thumb through it again, trying to distract herself from the emotions swirling inside her.

"Speaking of the jackass, I wanted to give you a heads up..."

But Bella wasn't listening. In her hand was a heavy, cream colored envelope, with a Forks return address. Even without the gold, embossed, intertwined rings on the front, she knew what it was.

"I guess they set a date," Bella mused aloud dazedly, interrupting whatever Rose had been saying.

"Shit. Yeah, that's what I was calling to tell you; I didn't want you to be blind-sided."

Bella let out a humorless laugh. _It was a little late for that_, she thought as she ran her finger along the seam of the letter before pulling out the inner envelope. She held it flat in her palm for a moment, wondering how something so small and innocuous looking could feel so heavy.

Several moments passed in silence before Rose finally interrupted her spinning thoughts.

"Are you opening it?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," Bella whispered in reply. Gritting her teeth, Bella reached in and slipped out the card inside, along with a folded piece of paper that looked like a letter. She debated reading that first but then changed her mind. Something told her that she didn't want to be on the phone when she read whatever was written there. Setting it to the side, she scanned the card.

"_Three months_?" Bella shrieked. "God, I know I told him I wanted him not to hold back for my sake, but three fucking months? Is she pregnant or something?" She felt justified in indulging in a little spitefulness. She and Jake hadn't even been divorced six months, and in just three more, he would be remarried.

"Uh, actually..." Rose started awkwardly.

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me! She's pregnant?"

"I don't know for sure, it's not like I spend a lot of time talking to them, but you know Emmett's friends with all the guys at the shop, and they gossip like old women. Embry told him that Leah said she saw Rennie at the pharmacy picking up prenatal vitamins."

"I...well, that's...yeah," she fumbled out. "I don't even know what to say about that."

"Bella, I don't understand how you can be so calm and understanding about all of this. It's so screwed up, and if it were me, I'd be raging mad. I just...I worry about you."

"Who am I supposed to be angry at, Rose? Jake and I were comfortable, but we weren't in love. How can I begrudge him finding that? He didn't betray me. He didn't take back something he promised me. If I had asked him, he would have stayed. He would have let her go, and we would have stayed together. But what was the point? To prove that I _could_?

"It's not fair, but you know what? Life isn't fair. And I can dwell on that, let myself wallow in the unfairness of it all, think about how Jake and Rennie get to have the life that I wanted, but where does it end? How long before I have to start thinking about how you and Emmett have that, too? Or every other happy couple in the world? Where does the anger end, Rosalie? No matter how I deal with this all, it still ends up with me being alone. I'd just like to at least not be alone and miserable."

The silence on the other end let her know that her best friend had finally heard what Bella had been trying to tell her for months. It did hurt, it hurt like hell, but not because she had lost something, but because she never had it to begin with. She didn't want Jake; she just wanted someone to _want._

"Listen, can I call you back later? I need to..." she trailed off.

"Okay. I'm sorry I upset you. I get what you're saying, I do. Just...you know you're not really alone, right? You have a family who loves you; don't forget that."

Bella swallowed thickly. "I know, thank you. I'll call tomorrow, I promise. Love you."

"Love you, too," Rose replied and disconnected the call. Bella sat the phone beside her and stared warily at the letter in her lap.

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><p>AN: This should be as angsty as it gets, and next chapter will most definitely be lighter. Sorry about the delay, but the good news is I know exactly where the next chapter is going, so it should come much sooner.

Pretty please let me know what you think. I've been utterly fail at replying, but I swear I read every one of them and knowing that you all are out there waiting motivates me to keep trying even when the words are fighting me.

Thanks to Kas90 for beta'ing and just being all-around awesome. My pre-readers are out of town, but still, thanks as always to Sammielynnsmom and KrisScott for being amazing friends, even when I drop off the face of the earth. :)

I'm going to semi-commit to an update in the next week. We'll see how that works out, lol. I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	4. Chapter 4

Bella continued to stare at the letter in her lap for a while longer before finally unfolding the paper. Jake's familiar chicken-scratch covered half the page. She couldn't bring herself to read the words, not yet. Whatever he was going to say wouldn't change the fact that despite everything they had went through, she had never felt more betrayed than she did just now.

The anger and bitterness she fought against sat in her stomach in a sour ball. She didn't want to be pissed, but god she was. Three fucking months. It was like she hadn't even existed, and the space she had occupied in Jake's life was easily filled by someone else. And as illogical as it was, the the most startling thing was the realization that she hadn't just been replaced as his wife, but as his best friend. That was the part that absolutely galled her.

Unable to sit still any longer, Bella stalked into the kitchen, slamming the cabinets and refrigerator opened and closed as she went about making dinner. She choked down tasteless food and stewed, the anger bubbling just below the surface, barely contained.

After she ate, she started scrubbing the pots and dishes, taking her anger out on the caked on bits of food. The kitchen practically gleamed by the time she was finished with it, and there may have been a small section of the Formica counter-top that was a little whiter than the rest from her overzealous scrubbing. The only thing left to do was to take out the garbage, so she tied up the bag and hoisted it out of the can with more force than was strictly necessary. Stomping down the back steps to the carport in back of the building where the cans were kept, she stopped short, swiveling her head from left to right, searching. Her can wasn't there.

Feeling everything suddenly boil over, she threw one more hard glare around the space just to be sure she hadn't missed it. Nope, definitely not there. Her breathing came in short pants, and her cheeks were on fire with pure rage. Some asshole stole her garbage can. It was truly the final straw for her. Gently setting the bag down on the concrete with an eerie stillness that one might mistake as resigned acceptance, yet was truly anything but, Bella did the only thing she could think of in that moment. She lost her shit.

Alternately kicking the side of the building and stomping her feet beneath her, she let out muted growls of frustration (even overwhelmed with anger, she was aware that there were neighbors nearby). It was several minutes later, her hair wild around her head in a frizzy, sweaty mess, and tears dripping down her chin unhindered, that the adrenaline began to burn off and she once again became aware of her surroundings. And then she wished she hadn't.

Sitting on the back steps was Edward, and even in the muted light of dusk, she could see he was looking at her with a mixture of concern and amusement...mostly amusement.

"Oh, God," she groaned, covering her face with her hands in utter mortification.

"No, no, by all means, please continue," he said, the laughter evident in his voice. "Don't let me interrupt."

"I don't suppose I can just slink back into my apartment and we can pretend that this never happened, can we?" she asked hopefully.

"Now, Ms. Swan, or should I call you Old Lady Swan?" he teased her, obviously in reference to their earlier conversation. "What kind of neighbor would I be if I didn't at least ask what was wrong?"

"Bella," she said in resignation, moving closer to lean against the building next to the steps where he sat. He gave her a questioning look. "My name. You can call me Bella. I mean, you've just witnessed my complete and total humiliation, and, quite possibly, the lowest emotional point of my life, you might as well call me by my name while you mock me."

"Bella," he said, as if trying out the word with his lips, before giving her an approving nod and flashing her a teasing grin. Inexplicably, she felt the knot of stress in her stomach begin to ease ever so slightly.

"Well, you should know, Bella, that I have no intention of mocking you. Tease, sure, maybe I'll even go so far as to poke fun, but mock? Never! I do have to ask, though, what could an almost hundred-year-old apartment building have done that was so horrific that it deserved the beating you were giving it just now?"

"Someone stole my trashcan," she said, her voice soft with embarrassment at her overreaction.

Edward looked at her suddenly abashed, something that made no sense to her at all.

"Uh, yeah," he hedged, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Maybe it wasn't so much stolen as...uh, moved to the alley for garbage pick-up day?"

"What?"

"I came out last night to move mine and saw that yours was still sitting there. I grabbed it to bring it down, since I figured you didn't know, and I just haven't had a chance to bring them back. That's actually what I was coming out to do when..." he trailed off, nodding his head in the direction of where she had stood earlier throwing her fit.

She stared at him dumbly for a moment.

"I'm an idiot," she finally muttered. "Thank you, by the way, for doing that. You're right, I didn't know. I'm sorry I accused you of stealing it, though in my defence, I didn't actually ever consider it was you, but, well, I'm sorry for indirectly accusing you."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "It's fine, I should have mentioned it earlier when I saw you, but I was, uh, distracted."

Now that the misunderstanding had been cleared, an awkward silence began to settle over them. They looked around uncomfortably for a few moments, and Bella was just about to make her excuses when Edward took a breath and straightened up, seemingly having come to a decision.

"So, feel free to tell me piss-off, but I'm betting that earlier was about more than just a missing garbage can, and I was wondering, would you like to go get a drink?"

"Are you even old enough to drink?" Bella blurted out before she could stop herself. As soon as her brain caught up with her mouth, she scrunched her eyes closed and let her head fall back against the brick wall behind her. "I'm so sorry, that was really rude." She groaned, sure that he was going to realize just how much of a neurotic mess she was and decide that being nice to her wasn't worth the effort when all she could do in return was either act insane or insult him.

"Okay, cradle robber," he said, grinning, "that's the second time you've mentioned my age. Exactly how old do you think I am, and how much older can you possibly be?"

"I don't know, twenty-six or twenty-seven?"

"Close, I'll be twenty-nine on my next birthday. Your turn, how old are you?"

"And when is your next birthday?" she asked lightly, trying to avoid answering his question. Even in the low light of early evening, she could see him blush slightly at her question.

"June," he mumbled.

Bella laughed loudly without meaning to. "It's August, Edward!" On the outside, she was teasing and flippant about it...on the inside, not so much. Eight years, while not an impossible difference, was still something that made her pause. _It doesn't matter how old he is, he's just my neighbor_, she reminded herself for the second time that day.

"Okay, you can't possibly be more than a couple of years older."

"Haven't you ever heard you aren't supposed to ask a woman her age?" she quipped.

"Well, the woman shouldn't have started the conversation!" he replied, feigning exasperation.

"Fine, I'll be thirty-six...on my next birthday." Bella flashed him a cheeky smile, enjoying the chance to tease him.

If the difference was startling or bothered him, he didn't let on; he simply shook his head at her, grinning.

"Well, good, since we're both plenty old to drink, what do you say?" he pressed.

Her embarrassment over her lack of filter had let her momentarily forget the original question. "I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea. I don't really..." she trailed off, motioning between them, hoping he would understand what she was getting at.

"So...you don't go for drinks with a friend after they witnessed you assault a building?" he asked obtusely.

Bella raised her eyebrow at him. "Friend?"

"Okay...not friend, potential friend? Friendly neighbor? Oh, I know! How about, the nice guy that you accused of stealing your garbage can? The way I see it, you owe me, Bella. You really hurt me," he said, winking at her.

"It's not you being hurt that I'm worried about," Bella mumbled under her breath, averting her eyes. Something told her he heard anyway.

Several seconds of silence forced her to finally look up at him. She found him staring at her with the look that he had worn that day last week in the hallway, the one that left her heart pounding and made her breath catch in her throat. The one that said that she was a puzzle and he was going to figure her out. The one that scared her to death.

His eyes met hers, and she found she couldn't look away. The intensity of his gaze was something she'd never had directed at her before, and she didn't know at all what to make of it. She bit her lower lip, pulling it between her teeth and running her tongue over the captured flesh in nervous habit. She felt like she was falling, not in a physical sense, but as if her entire world was suddenly thrown down a rabbit hole and was now plummeting toward a destination that was not the place she had been heading just moments before.

"I would never hurt you, I swear." She startled at not only the way his voice suddenly fractured the heavy air between them, but at the sheer intensity of his words. There was no doubt in her mind that he meant it, and without understanding at all, she found herself trusting him implicitly.

"One drink. Just as friends. Please?" he asked her, the power of his gaze undiminished.

"Okay. One," she breathed out, exhaling for the first time in what felt like hours.

His smile was brilliant, breaking across his face and lighting up his eyes. His happiness caused a similar smile to overtake her features, effectively diffusing the uncomfortable intensity that had been swirling around them just moments before.

"Well, if we're going out, I need to go change, I'm a mess," she said, running her hand over the wild tangle of her hair, trying futilely to tame it.

He looked like he wanted to say more but instead just shook his head, smiling at her lightly. "I'll meet you back here in twenty?"

She nodded, the nervous butterflies in her stomach preventing her from speaking. Once she was back inside her apartment, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed Rose while making a mad dash into her room to look for something to wear.

Rose picked up on the third ring. "Are you doing better now?"

"Well, if by better you mean I've lost my ever-loving mind, then yeah, I'm much better," Bella said wryly.

Her friend's laughter across the line made her smile. "So, what did you do, exactly?" Rose asked.

"Uh, I may have said yes to going for a drink with Hot Neighbor Guy?" The statement came out as a question as she waited to find out how Rose was going to react.

"I knew you had it in you! So, when are you guys going? How did it come up?"

"We're actually leaving in about fifteen minutes, which isn't enough time to explain just how much of an ass I made of myself beforehand."

Rose scoffed. "It couldn't have been that bad, dude still asked you out tonight!"

"You have no idea," Bella said, groaning. "Anyway, he didn't exactly ask me out. I think it was more of a pity thing. But, either way, we're just hanging out; it's not a date."

"Whatever," Rose replied.

The two spent the next couple of minutes figuring out what Bella would wear for the non-date. By the time they were finished, she felt much more confident. Just because it wasn't a date didn't mean that she wanted to look frumpy next to Edward.

They were getting ready to hang up when Rose stopped her. "Hey, Bella? Promise me you'll do something crazy tonight, okay?"

Bella laughed. "Something crazy? Because just going isn't crazy enough?"

"No, _not_ going would have been crazy! When a hot, sweet guy asks you out, you don't say no! But I'm serious, do something that you would never do in a million years, something crazy and fun, and maybe just a little bit reckless. Promise me?"

Sighing, she conceded. "Fine, _if_ something crazy comes up, I won't immediately say no. How's that?"

"I guess that'll do," Rose said, laughing.

Locking up behind her, Bella descended the back steps for the second time and walked out into the muggy night. Edward was waiting on the carport for her, leaning against a sleek, black motorcycle. She stopped short when it finally registered that he planned on her getting on the thing.

"What is that?" she asked, her voice coming out shriller than she meant.

"It's my bike. I thought, maybe, if you wanted, we could take it? We're going to my brother-in-law's bar across the river, but parking's a bitch. We can take my car, if you'd rather, but we'll have to walk a bit."

Silently cursing Rose, Bella heard herself saying, "No...no, the bike is fine."

His surprise was evident, but Edward only smiled as he helped her strap the helmet to her head and then get situated on the bike before giving her some brief pointers. She did everything she could to keep her nerves at bay, but she couldn't help the slight tremor in her hands when she wrapped her arms around Edward and splayed them across his chest.

Leaning back so she could hear him over the idling engine, he spoke into her ear, "I'll keep you safe, don't worry."

"Good, because if I die on this thing, I'm coming back to haunt your ass."

Laughing loudly, he turned around, yelling over the noise, "You never cease to surprise me, Bella."

"The feeling is entirely mutual," she mumbled, but her reply was drowned out completely by the engine revving, hurtling them into the night.

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><p>AN: So, thoughts? Amazingly, I know where next chapter is going, too, so I should have it out pretty quickly as well. I really was going to review reply, because I know you guys had questions, but then I wrote the chapter instead. I hope you don't mind an update in-lieu of replies. ;) I think it answers what everyone was wondering. If not, let me know and I promise I'll reply to clarify!

Pretty please review? It really does keep me motivated, there's no point in sharing if no one wants to read it!

As always, thanks to the usual suspects, Kas90 for beta'ing, Sammielynnsmom for pre-reading, and KrisScott for being awesome even if she is visiting Italy instead of being my beck-and-call-girl!

We'll say next week-ish for an update. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	5. Chapter 5

The trip through the city was exhilarating, the warm air rushing around them as Bella clung to Edward. It took a few minutes before she could actually open her eyes and look around, but when she did, she was struck by how different everything looked at night. There was a haunting stillness to the places that were always so bustling and busy during the day, teeming with people. Buildings sat darkened and empty, their facades illuminated with only the occasional street lamp.

When they stopped at a red light, Edward leaned back to talk to her. "We're going to have to get on the interstate for just a second to get across the bridge. Are you doing okay?"

Bella found herself grinning in reply. "Yeah, it's actually kind of amazing, not nearly as bad as I had expected."

He chuckled softly. "Glad to hear it."

They accelerated to merge onto the interstate, and her heart began to race. As the blood strummed through her veins, she was simultaneously terrified and intoxicated, and wholly wishing that the moment would never end. By the time they finally reached the apex of the bridge, with the river spread out below them, the moonlight reflecting silver off the dark ripples and the city lights twinkling around them, Bella's entire body was practically vibrating with a visceral sense of aliveness. She felt as if she could fly, as if she _was_ flying, as if she would never touch the ground again. And there was an overwhelming urge to do something, anything, to prove just how alive and a part of the world she was in that moment.

As if he could read her mind, Edward's arms briefly hugged her hands against his chest. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

All too soon the pair reached their destination, a strip of shops in an area that looked similar to her own neighborhood. Parking the bike into a space in front of the mostly vacant buildings, Edward helped her dismount and pull off her helmet, holding both hers and his in his right hand.

"So, what did you think?" he asked, leading the way towards a small bar, the door opened to the night, lights and music spilling out onto the sidewalk.

"I don't think I've ever experienced anything quite like that! When we got to the top of the bridge...god, it was just...transcendental," Bella replied, ducking her head and blushing at her unrestrained enthusiasm.

Edward nodded his head in agreement. "That's one of the things I love about riding, especially at night, it reminds me that I'm still alive." There was a note of sadness to his voice, but before Bella had a chance to analyze it, he placed his hand on her back and led her into the bar.

The space was welcoming and almost homey, nothing like bars she'd occasionally been dragged to back in Washington. Bella threw a questioning glance at Edward, who once again seemed to know just what she was thinking. "My sister, Alice, is an interior designer. When Jasper told her he wanted to buy the bar, she insisted that a neighborhood place should feel more like someone's living room than a bar."

Several people called out greetings to Edward as they wove through the crowd, and he returned each with a smile and quiet wave or nod, but he never took his focus from Bella. Once they reached the bar tucked into the back corner, he handed the helmets to the bartender, who placed them under the counter with a practiced familiarity.

"Eddie, where have you been hiding? Or should I say, who have you been hiding?" the bartender said, giving Bella an appreciative once over. He was mildly attractive in a hipster kind of way; his dark brown hair hung loose and shaggy around his face; his baby blues twinkled, hidden behind a pair of purposefully-nerdy black rimmed glasses.

"Riley," Edward admonished, scowling and shaking his head slightly. "This is my neighbor, Bella; she's new to town."

Riley leaned over the polished wood counter, holding his hand out for hers. She was surprised when instead of shaking it, he lifted her fingers to his lips, kissing them. "Well, beautiful Bella, welcome to our little town. If this guy isn't showing you all of our Southern charms, let me know, and I'll be happy to take his place."

She pulled her hand back uncomfortably. "Um, thank you?" she stumbled out.

Edward reached over, playfully punching the other man's arm. "Ignore him, he thinks he's smooth," Edward said to Bella before turning back to Riley. "Is Jas here?"

He threw one more grin at Edward and a wink towards Bella before walking to a door behind the bar and yelling in, "Yo, boss man, the free-loader's asking for you!"

"So, he's...nice," Bella said neutrally, causing Edward to laugh.

"I've heard Riley described as a lot of things, I'm not sure 'nice' has ever been one of them. He's a good guy, though, even if he does come on a little strong."

Returning a moment later, Riley said, "He'll be out in a minute. What can I get you in the mean time?"

Edward motioned towards Bella to go first. "Uh, just a beer, please. Sam Adams if you've got it on tap."

After confirming that Edward wanted his usual, he began to pull their beers. "Two Sam Adams," he said, setting the frosted steins on the bar.

Bella reached into her back pocket for her credit card, but Edward waved her off. "Don't worry about it." He smiled at her before wrapping his lips around the edge of his glass, taking a long sip.

"I can pay for my own drink, Edward. I can't ask you to pay for me!" she argued.

"Pay, schmay, I'm part owner. Jasper bribes me with beer to keep it a silent partnership-just think of it as you helping my profit margin," he said with a mischievous grin. He didn't give her a chance to argue the point further, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards some booths set off in the corner beside the bar. With a small huff, she allowed herself to be led off.

They sat and talked idly for a few minutes, Bella learning that he worked for an advertising firm and that he had lived in their building since he'd moved back to Jacksonville two years prior. She explained that she was a free lance editor and that her move had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, though she did manage to avoid elaborating on the reasons behind that decision.

Before long, a tall man with curly blond hair and light blue eyes approached their table. Edward stood and embraced him in a one-armed guy hug before sitting back down.

"So, Riley tells me you've come to steal my beer and show off a pretty girl?" the man drawled, laughing.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Well, he got the pretty girl part right," he said, winking at Bella. She smiled self-consciously, not knowing how to respond.

"Bella, this is my brother-in-law, Jasper. Jasper, this is my neighbor, Bella. She's new in town."

Jasper stuck his hand out towards Bella, greeting her warmly. "Nice to meet you, Bella. Where are ya from?"

"You, too, Jasper. Um, a tiny little town in Washington State."

"How do you like it here so far?"

"It's nice...hot as hell, but nice," she replied.

"Yeah, around here we live for November when it finally cools down for a couple of months."

Bella tried to stifle the groan at the thought of three more months of the heat and then only a reprieve of a couple of months. It was a depressing thought.

Both men chuckled at her reaction. "You'll get used to it, don't worry," Edward said reassuringly. She gave him a look that clearly said she didn't believe him. She couldn't imagine ever walking outside in this heat and not feeling completely sapped of energy and sticky from the hot, wet air.

"Oh, Edward, before I forget, Alice wanted me to tell you you're coming to dinner at our house tomorrow night."

"You know, she could at least pretend that she's being polite by asking," he grumbled.

"Yeah, but if she asks, you have the option of saying no, and you know how she feels about that word," Jasper said, smiling before turning to Bella. "You should come, too, Bella."

She couldn't hide her surprise at the invitation. "Oh, um, I don't want to impose," she hedged, glancing sideways at Edward, trying to gauge his reaction. She didn't want him to think she was trying to force her way into his life just because he took pity on her after having an obviously bad day.

"You should definitely come-it'll be fun," he said, smiling encouragingly.

"I..." she hesitated. On the one hand, it would be good to meet some more people in town, on the other, she really wasn't sure that Edward wasn't just being nice.

"Alice is like the unofficial welcome wagon in the neighborhood. If she finds out you just moved here and I didn't convince you to come, she'll kick my ass," Jasper pushed while Edward nodded in agreement.

"Okay, okay, if you're sure you don't mind," she finally conceded, looking at Edward, who seemed truly happy to include her.

"Great, is six okay? Edward can give you directions, but it isn't hard to find from y'all's place."

"Yeah, six works," she agreed.

"Well, I need to get back there. I'll see you guys later," Jasper said, giving them a friendly wave before walking back towards the bar.

"Do you want another beer?" Edward asked her, nodding towards her empty glass.

"No, thank you. I'm kind of a light-weight, so unless you want to have to hold me onto the back of your motorcycle, I should quit while I'm ahead," she said, her laughter sounding suddenly forced.

Despite her efforts to forget, Bella could feel the weight of the day begin to press down on her. Sensing the shift in her mood, Edward reached over, brushing his thumb along the back of her hand resting on the table. A small tingle ran through her at the contact, causing her to shiver slightly.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, sorry, I just had a really shitty afternoon, and it's catching up with me. If you want to head out, we can. I feel bad for getting all emo when we were having fun."

"Yeah, trashcan theft will do that to you," he teased. "Do _you_ want to go home?"

The thought of walking into an empty apartment right now was doing nothing to help the acute loneliness she was feeling. "Not necessarily, but I'm not going to be very good company, I don't think." She gave him an apologetic look.

"Well, then I want to show you something," he said matter-of-factly. "Come on."

The two walked to the bar to retrieve their helmets and called out a goodbye to both Riley and Jasper who were now busy serving a sudden influx of customers. They didn't speak as they got back onto the bike and took off.

It didn't take long before Bella realized that they were crossing the bridge back to Riverside. She figured Edward had changed his mind and had decided to go back home. Not that she blamed him; her morose mood was hanging around them like a dark cloud.

She was so lost in her head, analyzing the whole situation with Jake and speculating what the hell he could possibly have to say in the letter, that she didn't realize they had arrived back until the bike's engine shut off. But instead of seeing the carport behind her building like she had expected, she noticed they were parked on a side street with a row of large, expensive houses on the left side, a park of some sort on the other, and the river in front of them.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Memorial Park. This is one of my favorite places to come when I have a lot on my mind," he answered, leading her along the walkway towards some concrete benches that sat facing the water. The benches were nestled underneath huge live oak trees, their limbs strewn with moss that seemed to glow silver in the moonlight. The river was spread out before them, lapping gently at the sea wall. It was extremely peaceful.

They sat in silence for several minutes, neither of them yet willing to share the thoughts that consumed them. Edward looked just as consumed with memories as she was, but somehow she got the sense that he was also waiting her out, pushing her to speak with expectant silence. She truly had no intention of unloading her problems on Edward, who despite the easiness of being around him, and his continued warmth towards in her in the face of her whiplash-inducing mood changes, was still virtually a stranger. But the more she circled around the thoughts in her head, the higher the words piled up on her tongue, pressing against her lips, until they spilled forth without her permission.

"I got an invitation to my ex-husband's wedding. He sent a letter too, but I haven't read it. When you saw me earlier tonight, it was the moment that everything just boiled over. I was just so fucking _angry_. And I don't want to be, I don't want to be that person, that bitter, spiteful woman whose life is defined by her hate for someone.

"He was one of my best friends my whole life. And then he met the woman who he fell in love with. And I already knew I wasn't that for him, because really it wasn't him for me, either. But I just...I don't know what I'm doing anymore. My life was all planned out, all the important goals were checked off the list. And with the stroke of a pen, it was all undone. I came here to start over, to get away, but it just followed me. He was my best friend for thirty-five years, my husband for almost five, and now we're just _nothing_."

Bella's words hung in the air between them, and she had the overwhelming urge to reach out and grab them to shove them all back inside, locked up tight and safe. Because she was sure that once he saw the kind of baggage she was dealing with, even being her friend would be more than he signed up for.

She found Edward staring at her contemplatively, as if he were weighing his words, considering exactly what to say. Taking a breath, he raised his hands to her face, cradling her cheeks between his palms. The intimacy of the gesture should have felt strange and awkward; instead she felt nothing but calmed and soothed. "You are allowed to be angry; you are allowed to kick hundred-year-old buildings if it helps," he said with a small teasing smirk that did nothing to belie the conviction behind his words. "And feeling that way doesn't make you bitter or spiteful, it makes you human. But, god, Bella, life is so much more than being married to a guy you didn't love because it let you mark off some goal on a check list."

He paused then, blinking back some hint of pain that she didn't understand, before going on, "You only get one; don't ever take that for granted."

There was so much she wanted to say in that moment, so much she wanted to ask him, but there just didn't seem to be words for it right now. As much as she had shared of herself that she usually kept carefully guarded, she was somehow sure that he had shown her just as much. So instead of cluttering up the moment with words that would only confuse and dilute what they had shared, she took a chance, laying her head against his shoulder in a gesture that both sought to comfort and find comfort.

Without hesitation, Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulders, letting his chin rest on top of her head. For the first time in months, Bella felt that maybe there was somewhere she belonged...and that maybe it was right where she was.

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><p>AN: So, thoughts? Pretty please review, it truly means a lot to me and helps keep me motivated. :) I did manage to reply to reviews this time, and I think I got everyone! If I missed you , please know it wasn't intentional. I can't tell you how happy I am that you guys continue to follow the story!

Are you all interested in seeing pictures of the places they go? If there's enough interest, I can set up a blog or something.

Follow me on twitter: (at) morethanmyself

Thanks to the usual suspects, Kas90 for beta'ing, and Sammilynnsmom and KrisScott for pre-reading. You girls mean the world to me!

I'm going to say in the next couple of weeks for an update. I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: There's a photo blog for the story now, link on my profile.

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><p>The next morning, Bella woke up with a contented smile and stretched her body, relishing the satisfying warming and pulling of her muscles. Even as crappy as the afternoon before had been, she still felt a sense of hope that she hadn't in a long time. Part of her wanted to attribute it to the burgeoning connection with Edward, but she was wary of openly acknowledging that...at least not yet. For now, he was just a new friend who was there for her when she needed someone. This feeling was more of a general realization that this move was good for her. What had started out as a way of running away was turning out to be an opportunity to examine her life in a way that would have been immpossible surrounded by the familiarities of home.<p>

Walking into the kitchen, she quickly started the coffee before cracking an egg in a pan. As she waited for her breakfast to finish, she thought about what Edward had said the night before. His words had resonated within her, striking true against some of the doubts she'd had about marrying Jake from the beginning. She was slowly starting to see just how little she'd lived, and not just because she grew up in a small town or because she had been an overly-conscientious student. She had lived in a sheltered bubble because it was safer than expanding her horizons and putting herself out there. If she were honest with herself, that truth had been a large part of her meltdown over Jake's impending wedding. It was easier to justify existing in a life where she was comfortably numb when there was someone existing with her.

She ate her food slowly, contemplating her revelation. Errant thoughts flitted through her head: was this what a mid-life crisis felt like? Was she now going to feel compelled to buy a tiny, red sports car, get a tattoo, and sleep with younger guys? Bella suddenly choked on the mouthful of eggs as a vision of a certain neighbor appeared with that last thought. When she recovered from the subsequent coughing fit, she could only shake her head at how far ahead of herself she was getting. She was only just now willing to consider that he might be a friend, much less make any immediate plans to screw him.

No, definitely not a mid-life crisis, more like...waking up from a lazy, hazy sleep that had gone on much too long. And if she were going to work on living her life and embracing it head-on, then she should probably start with the letter sitting on her living room table.

With a sense of determination and purpose, Bella rose from her kitchen table, setting the dishes in the sink for later. She threw on a comfortable pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and a pair of sandals, grabbed the letter from Jake off her coffee table, along with her messenger bag and keys, and walked out the back door, locking up behind herself. She hoped that being in public would force her to remain objective and keep herself in check as she finally faced whatever it was Jake had to say.

As she walked down the sidewalk, the early morning air hung around her, already humid and sticky, though a light breeze gave a modicum of relief. The birds and insects created a peaceful hum of background noise, busying themselves before the heat of the day drove them into hiding. Deep, full breaths of air filled her lungs, and despite the unanswered questions nagging at her surrounding the letter, Bella felt herself relaxing into the world around her, once again struck by just how much she felt like a part of things here.

Her destination was only a few short blocks from her apartment building, a large green space called Willow Branch Park. There was a small stream tripping lazily through a stone-lined bed with a footbridge across it. Large pine and live oak trees towered overhead, creating a kaleidoscope-like canopy of shadows, perceptibly cooling the air beneath them. She had ventured to the library at the far corner of the park a couple of times already, but today she was just looking for a bench she had previously noticed tucked off the path.

She settled onto the wooden slats of the bench, crisscrossing her legs beneath her on the seat, and pulled the letter from her bag. Nerves fluttered inside her stomach, but she swallowed the apprehension and unfolded the paper to read.

_Bells,_

_I hate how awkward this is, and I know that it's my fault that it's like this, and that you said to stop apologizing, but still...I'm just so damned sorry. I went back and forth over this invitation, trying to figure out what was the best option. I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. I worried _not_ sending it would make you think you weren't welcome or that I don't want you to be a part of my life any more (which is just crazy, because I __always__ want you in it- you're still my best friend). And I was worried that if I did send it, you'd think I was being an asshole about it. _

Bella stopped reading to surreptitiously wipe the wetness from her eyes. She should have known him better than the thoughtlessness and cruelty she'd mentally accused him of yesterday. It was easy to see just how much he had truly agonized over the decision to send her the invitation. This was _Jake_, the guy that had offered to give up the woman who was so obviously his other half, if that was what Bella had needed him to do. That she could have thought he would have been anything less than aware and respectful of her feelings made her feel ashamed and guilty.

_But finally, I decided that I know you, and you would have been more pissed if I had taken the choice away from you by not sending it. So, here it is. I hope you can come, I _want_ you to come, but I understand if you can't (or won't)._

_I don't regret our marriage, I could never regret spending time with you, but you deserve so much more than what we had. You deserve the whole world, and I wish like hell I could have given that to you. You'll find it, though; I have no doubt. And when you do, you'll understand just how much you gave me, and how I can never, ever repay you._

_Love Always,_

_Jake_

Bella sat in a daze, staring blankly in front of her as she processed what Jake had written. Even now, he knew exactly what she needed to hear, knew just what to say. He was absolutely right, if he had not sent her the invitation, she would have been hurt beyond belief. She knew it probably didn't make any sense to anyone else, but she and Jake had been best friends for literally their entire lives—which was not something that just went away, not even after a failed, ill-conceived marriage.

They may not ever be as close as they once were, but they were still bound by a shared history that far outreached their five years as a couple. And the loss of his friendship was what had hit her the hardest when she thought about him truly moving on. The failure of their marriage made her doubt her ability to be part of a couple, but the feared failure of their friendship made her doubt everything she'd ever known to be true.

It was in this state of intense introspection that she found herself when the gentle clearing of a throat in front of her brought her from the daze. Turning her head to the side, she was met with a sight that made her breath catch in her throat. There was Edward, his torso uncovered, the taut, cut muscles of his abdomen flexing in rhythm and glistening with sweat as he stood panting in front of her. A pair of running shorts left his strong, lean legs mostly exposed. She had the strangest urge to lick him.

Shaking the errant thought from her head, she focused on his face, only to find him smirking at her knowingly. "Next you're going to try to pinch my ass like that gang of old ladies a few blocks ago did," he teased.

Predictably, Bella's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I, uh...you surprised me, is all. I wasn't expecting to see anyone else out this early."

"Yes, I always ogle people when they startle me. Speaking of which, you have a little bit of drool right...there," he said, using his thumb to wipe away what she ardently hoped was an imaginary bit of wetness from the corner of her mouth. She batted his hand away before she did something stupid, like open her mouth and bite his thumb.

"So, you run?" she asked, stating the obvious and desperately trying to regain some balance. Her earlier thoughts over breakfast and Jake's words had left her off kilter and out of sorts.

"Yeah, every morning pretty much year round. I took it up when I moved back here; it's a good way to help get my head cleared and focused for the day."

"I tried jogging in high school but managed to fall off a curb and break my ankle after just a week." She laughed in embarrassment.

"Well, since jogging is out, why _are_ you sitting on a lonely park bench so early? I thought we got all the deep-thinking out last night," he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"I had a letter to read, and I didn't want to do it inside," she said, hoping that he wouldn't ask her to explain.

"Ah, the letter from the ex-husband," he replied in understanding. "So, was it as bad you thought?" Edward asked, sitting beside her on the bench.

"Yes and no. I may have over-reacted to what I thought he was going to say, so that was good in a completely humiliating kind of way. But it also made me realize some things that...well, that it seems like I'm a little old to just now realize."

"Such as?" he prompted. For the second time in less than twelve hours, Bella found herself opening up to Edward without truly meaning to.

"Such as...that maybe living the safe, comfortable life isn't so safe...or comfortable." She looked up at him sheepishly, remembering that he'd basically said the same thing last night. In some ways, it was hard to understand how a man as impetuous as Edward could seem to have such a better grasp on the important things in life, especially having lived so many fewer years than she had.

He gently nudged her shoulder with his own, grinning at her almost proudly. "There may be hope for you yet."

"Oh, well, as long as I'm not a lost cause, then I suppose we can still be friends," she said, rolling her eyes and laughing.

"Hey, I've been upgraded to friend status; I'm honored! And it only took," he paused to look at his watch, "fifteen hours. Damn, I'm good!"

"Yes, it's quite the honor...until you realize just how much baggage I come with, and then you'll wish you weren't such an over-achiever," Bella joked.

He quirked his eyebrow, looking at her with amusement, as if he knew something she didn't. "It's not baggage, Bella. It's your story, and everyone has one," he said, standing up before he turned to face her, his piercing green eyes capturing her own. "And for the record? He's an idiot for letting you go. Any guy who says goodbye to you is crazy."

With that, he jogged away, calling over his shoulder, "I'll see you tonight!"

Bella watched as he moved swiftly away from her, tilting her head to the side at the way his ass flexed and relaxed in perfect rhythm to the strong, pounding strides of his legs. Shaking her head to clear the sudden fog, she reached up to wipe the side of her mouth, this time quite certain that she was in fact drooling.

Ten minutes later, she was walking up the street back to her apartment, trying to ignore the uncomfortable way the now-oppressive humidity made her clothes stick to her. She noticed a short, dark-haired woman struggling to open the front door of the building, and she jogged the last few yards to help her out. She assumed by the grocery bags the woman carried that she was a friend of one of the neighbors, probably Victoria and Jane. _Hopefully not Edward_, she thought with a surprising possessiveness.

"Oh, thank you! I thought I was just going to drop everything right there and breakfast would have been ruined. What kind of first impression would that have been anyway? Accidentally egging the front of the building-definitely not a good way to say hello! Well, not literally egging, since I don't have any eggs, but you know what I mean," the woman rambled on, hardly pausing to take a breath.

Bella murmured a polite, "No problem," before continuing up the stairs. The woman followed suite, and with a sharp sense of disappointment, Bella realized that she must in fact have been destined for Edward's apartment. Giving the woman a tight smile as she paused in the hallway behind her, Bella took out her keys and opened her front door.

She couldn't stop herself from calling out over her shoulder, "Edward's not there. We were at the park a bit ago, and he was a bit worked up so he went for a run." She hoped that Edward wouldn't be too angry at the insinuations in her statement, but really, the woman had said she didn't actually know him.

"Oh, really?" the woman replied, sounding quite interested and amused, which was not at all what Bella would have expected. "Anyway, I'm not here to see him," she continued, following Bella into her own apartment before she was able to close the door.

Bella watched with panic as the woman moved through the apartment, straight to the kitchen. _What the hell? _she thought as she followed her and the woman continued to rattle on.

"So, I have the stuff for mimosas, I hope that's okay. I was going to make crepes, too, but then I was afraid that would be pretentious. I mean, who doesn't love a good crepe, but it would be weird to plan on cooking in someone's kitchen who you don't even know, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. So, instead I got bagels and cream cheese from Panera. Have you been there yet? It's up by the Publix. They have the best sandwiches, and their bagels really are to die for. Anyway, do you have a pitcher or something, and I can start on the mimosas if you want to toast the bagels."

With a strange sense of deja vu, Bella found herself once again gaping at a perfect stranger who had managed to insinuate themselves into her day in an alarming way. And once again, it only took a moment before she found her voice.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell are you?" she asked forcefully.

The woman turned away from the kitchen table with a look of surprise on her face. "Oh! I'm so sorry; I'm Alice Whitlock, Edward's sister."

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><p>AN: Yeah, this wasn't exactly where I had pictured this chapter going, lol. I had really thought it would be the dinner with Jasper and Alice, but then Edward and Alice got pushy!

Pretty please, with a cherry on top, review? Your words truly mean a lot to me and keep me motivated!

TSWYB was rec'd on PIC FanFic Corner! I can't thank them enough for the nice things they said about the story and sending some new readers this way. *waves*

Thanks to the usual suspects, Kas90 for beta'ing, and Sammielynnsmom and KrisScott for pre-reading. You girls mean the world to me!

I'm going to say just a week or so for the next update, since I'm pretty clear on what's coming up. I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	7. Chapter 7

Bella stared at the diminutive woman, trying to decide how to react. In the end, sarcasm won out. "So, lack of personal boundaries is a genetic trait, then?"

Alice gaped at Bella for just a moment before she deadpanned, "He didn't tell you I was coming, did he?"

"No, that definitely didn't come up," Bella replied uncomfortably.

"I swear I called him! I mean, I left a message, but when you told me you had talked to him, I just assumed...oh god, you must think I'm absolutely insane, don't you? I would never just barge in..."

"Alice?" Bella tried futilely to interrupt.

"...I'm just so embarrassed! I can't believe I just waltzed right in like I owned the place. At least I brought food, right?" She laughed humorlessly while simultaneously continuing to ramble on without pause.

"Alice!" Bella finally yelled, desperate to end the diatribe.

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed in surprise.

Not wanting to waste the opportunity to finally speak, Bella went on, "It's okay! It was a misunderstanding. No harm done. I'm just glad that you aren't actually just some random crazy person. I tell you what, if you'll forget what I said in the hallway, I'll forget about this." Bella smiled hopefully at Alice.

Now that Alice wasn't talking a mile a minute, Bella's own feelings of embarrassment were making themselves known. It wasn't bad enough that she'd acted possessive over a man she had no claim to, but she'd acted that way toward his _sister_. If anyone was at risk of looking like a nut-job, it was herself.

Smiling slyly, Alice asked, "You mean that part where you implied that you and my brother were doing dirty and inappropriate things in a public park?"

Bella groaned, suddenly feeling flushed with annoyance and embarrassment. Sighing heavily, she replied, "Yes, yes, that's _exactly_ what I'm referring to."

Alice laughed lightly. "Well, if you're sure you don't mind, I'm sure we can just pretend that I _didn't_ break into your house wielding bread and alcohol, and I can pretend I didn't hear..._that_."

Grimacing as the embarrassment once again flared inside, Bella nodded in agreement.

"So, now that that's all out of the way...breakfast? If you're not busy, of course," Alice asked.

"Yeah, yeah, this is fine! Who am I to turn down mimosas?" Bella replied with a laugh.

"Great! I'm so glad! I mean, if you'd wanted me to, I would have left, but I really want to get to know you. And I was thinking it might make you feel more comfortable tonight at dinner if you knew someone besides just Edward, you know? Not that everyone isn't nice-they totally are-but just that it can be awkward coming to dinner with a bunch of people you've never met."

"Alice, breathe!" Bella laughed again. "I know what you mean, and I think it was very nice of you to think of me. Now, you need a pitcher, right?"

An hour later, the two were sitting in the living room, along with the long empty pitcher of spiked orange juice. The champagne had done the job of loosening things up between the women, allowing the conversation to flow freely. Bella marveled that despite her rather dramatic entrance, Alice was exactly the kind of woman she would have been friends with back home. Indeed, it felt as if they'd known each other forever, instead of barely a morning.

Waving her hand in front of her face, Bella hiccuped with laughter, tears rolling down her face. "So, let me get this straight...he was running _naked_ down the street, holding his junk, making light saber noises? Oh my god, that's just...priceless!"

"Swear to god!" Alice replied loudly, her words punctuated with her own laughter. "Just say the phrase, 'May the force be with you,' and he'll still blush, even to this day!"

"That almost makes me wish I had a brother, just so I could torture him with memories like that!"

"Hey, I was an only child for six years, he owes me for letting him share our parents. If I can't hold stuff over his head, what's the point of being the big sister? Though, in his defense, he was four," Alice said, still laughing.

Before Bella could respond though, a knock came from the door. She moved across her living room, peeking through the security peephole. After muttering, "Shit," she was suddenly running her hand over her hair and smoothing her clothes before yanking the door open.

"E...Ed...Edward! Hey," she said, her cracking voice belying the serious exterior she was trying to exude. It took everything she had not to stare at his crotch and ask him if he felt the force strongly. A stray snort escaped her carefully smoothed exterior, setting Alice off into a fit of giggles, which soon over-came Bella's restraint, pushing her headlong into a side-split inducing laughter fit.

Edward stared at the women from the doorway, not sure what to make of the scene in front of him. It was fairly obvious that his sister and Bella were half drunk, but his mind failed to conjure up the sequence of events that could have possibly lead to this, much less, that it didn't precipitate his sister telling embarrassing stories about him. As he stood there pondering the necessity of damage control, Bella finally stopped laughing long enough to step aside, allowing him to enter.

As he moved through the doorway, looking at Alice suspiciously, Bella realized that he had already been home to shower. If she thought that sweaty, running Edward was delicious, he had almost nothing on freshly-showered, damp-haired Edward. Just a whiff of the combination of body wash, shave cream and _him_ was enough to sober her up quickly and make her stomach flutter.

"So, brother-mine, did you bother to listen to your messages?" Alice asked, reminding Bella of her presence and stopping her before she inappropriately began huffing Edward's neck in order to drown her senses in his scent.

"Actually, I did...after I got back from my run and had a shower. I came over to tell Bella you were coming. Though, that doesn't exactly explain _why_ you're here. We're coming to dinner tonight, you could have met her then," Edward replied, cocking his eyebrow.

The two siblings looked at one another pointedly and proceeded to have a silent conversation filled with slight shoulder shrugs and exasperated sighs before Edward finally huffed, "Just drop it Ali," causing Alice to grin smugly and laugh. Bella looked between the two of them as if they'd lost their ever-loving minds.

Moments later, Alice rose from the couch, stacking their breakfast dishes on the living room table. "Well, Bella, I should probably get home to check on Jasper. I'm always afraid I'm going to walk in the house and the boys are going to have him tied up or something," she laughed out. From what Alice had told Bella about her and Jasper's five-year-old twins, Alec and Liam, it wouldn't have surprised her in the least. The two sounded like quite the handful.

"Well, it was great to meet you, Alice. Thank you for breakfast; it was...enlightening," she said with a giggle, looking sidewards toward Edward, who gulped nervously.

"Anytime," Alice replied with a smile. "I'll see you both tonight!"

Bella closed the door behind her, suddenly aware of being alone with Edward in her living room. He was standing awkwardly near the front windows, looking at her warily.

"So, what exactly did my sister tell you?" he asked finally, his nervousness causing Bella to laugh loudly.

"Nothing bad, but you sound like you were adorable as a kid."

Edward groaned in obvious embarrassment. "She told you the fucking light saber story, didn't she?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Bella said, teasingly, surprising even herself by winking at him. Even more surprisingly, there was no hot flush of her cheeks in awkward self-consciousness from her blatant flirting. Teasing Edward came as naturally to her as bearing her soul did.

As for Edward, he was staring at her with something akin to lustful shock. His mouth hung open slightly, and he was breathing just a beat faster than usual. Bella couldn't help the smug smile that played at the corners of her mouth. It was definitely satisfying to know that she could effect him the way that he did her.

"Okay," she said suddenly, breaking the building tension. "You have to go. I have work to catch up on so I can go to Alice and Jasper's tonight."

Shaking his head quickly like he was trying to clear it, he muttered, "Woman, you are going to be the death of me."

Bella laughed, watching him walk across the hall to his own front door. "Hey, Edward," she called, just before he entered his apartment. "May the force be with you."

She heard him growl Alice's name just as she closed her door, still laughing.

*~*~*~TSWYB~*~*~*

She spent the next several hours immersed in work, only allowing herself a break when Rose called around lunch time, so she could catch her best friend up on the strange turn of events concerning Edward. Unsurprisingly, Rose was more than a little happy to hear that Bella had not only done something crazy...well, at least crazy for her, by riding Edward's bike, but had actually stepped outside of her comfort zone by accepting the dinner invitation. Bella flushed with pride when her friend acknowledged the changes, however small they were.

Promptly at 5:30, Edward knocked, just as she was finished getting ready. He stood staring at her for just a moment. "Wow, you look amazing," he said sincerely.

Bella smoothed her hands down the front of her dark blue sundress nervously. "Thanks, I wasn't sure what to wear. I'm glad I guessed right at casual," she replied, nodding towards his dark wash jeans and polo.

"Well, come on in," she said, smiling. "I've got to grab a couple of things and I'll be ready," she assured him. She walked to the kitchen, followed behind by Edward, and grabbed the bottle of red wine she'd decided to bring to the Whitlocks' and her purse. The pair left through the kitchen door that led out to the carport.

She was relieved when Edward walked toward his silver Volvo, instead of the bike they'd ridden the night before. As much fun as that was, she had no desire to arrive at a dinner party with wind burned cheeks and her hair in a mess.

The drive to Alice and Jasper's house only took a few minutes as they made small talk. Before she knew it, they were pulling into the driveway of a light green two-story house that had obviously been meticulously restored. As they came up the stone paved walkway to the front door, Bella could hear the sounds of boisterous laughter and loud voices talking animatedly. Edward knocked once before opening the door and ushering her inside.

Alice saw them enter the house from across the room and quickly made her way over, grinning widely, a bemused Jasper in tow. Giving Bella an enthusiastic hug, she began talking. "I'm so glad you guys are here! I think that makes everyone, which is perfect, because dinner will be ready in just a few minutes. You met Jasper the other night, of course, but come on, let me introduce you to everyone else."

She was quickly separated from Edward and introduced around the room to the six or seven other people there. Alice left her soon afterward to check on dinner while she talked books with Marcus and James, a couple who owned a large, independent bookstore nearby. As they described the store, a large, rambling space, literally filled floor-to-ceiling with a mix of both new and used books in every genre you could imagine, Bella couldn't help but feel it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"So, Bella," James drawled, "how did you manage to snag our Edward?"

"Oh, uh, I haven't 'snagged' him...we aren't dating," she replied, unsure of the sudden change in topic.

"Just ignore him, honey," Marcus interjected, patting her arm reassuringly. "He's just jealous. He's convinced that Edward has a bad case of denial, and you're kind of ruining that for him."

"Sorry?" Bella replied, laughing lightly. "But, really, we aren't together. He's just been nice enough to help me get my bearings in town. I'm sure he'd do that for anyone."

"Hey, Jamie, help me remember," Marcus turned to his partner, "how long have we known Alice?"

"Hmmm, maybe four years?"

"And in that four years, how many beautiful women has Edward brought to her dinner parties, especially beautiful women whom he couldn't take his eyes off of...the number is just escaping me, right now."

"Oh, that's easy...one," James replied, winking at Bella.

"That's right! I remember now...just the lovely Bella, here," Marcus said, smirking at her. "I don't think it's Edward that has the case of denial," he stage-whispered toward James.

Just then, Edward walked up, casually putting his arm around Bella's shoulders. "Hey, Ali says dinner's almost ready, if we want to head into the dining room."

Bella couldn't help the thrill that went through her when Edward's hand slid down to rest on her lower back as he led her into the dining room. It may have only been a couple of days since she begrudgingly became friends with him, but she felt her resolve to hold those lines firm already slipping.

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><p>AN: I feel so horrible about this being late in addition to being utterly fail at review-replying! Don't hate me? Thank you guys for reading, I truly appreciate that you are sticking with the story. My lame-o excuses along with the pics for this weeks chapter are up on the blog linked in my profile.

Huge, squealy, fan-girly thanks to Coldplaywhore who put this crazy little story up for the Fictionators Weekly Pwn feature! And an equally huge welcome to everyone who gave the story a shot based on her rec!

As always, love and affection to Kas90, Sammielynnsmom, and KrisScott! You girls rock my world. :)

I learned my lesson last time-no ETA for the next chapter, but not too long, I promise! I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of dinner was spent in the warm glow of good food, wine, and laughter. Bella was surprised to see that she truly fit in, not just with Edward himself, but his friends and family. She had grown up in Forks feeling like a square peg in a round-hole of a town. She had no interest in small-town gossip or politics, and the inanity of it all grated on her regularly. Aside from Rose...and Jake, she'd never really before found people with whom she felt completely at ease.

By the time she and Edward were saying their goodbyes to the rest of the group, she had plans to meet James and Marcus at the bookstore later in the week, and one day soon, Alice was going to take her to some of the antique stores around the area to help her find some odds and ends for her apartment. She felt fully content with the prospect of a relatively busy social calendar and was happy to have met these new people in her life.

Edward glanced over at her inside the dark interior of the car, their faces illuminated in bursts of dim light from the passing street lamps. He nudged her gently with his elbow before reaching over to lightly pull on her fingers that were resting on the console between them, but not letting go.

"What has you smiling like that?" he asked.

Bella let out a happy sigh. "Nothing in particular. I just had a lot of fun tonight-I'm really glad you and Jasper convinced me to come. Your friends and family are kind of great."

He nodded his head, humming in agreement. "Yeah, they really are. They've been there for me through a lot," he added quietly.

She curled her fingers around his and squeezed them in a silent gesture of comfort. It wasn't the first time he'd mentioned his past, she just hoped that sometime soon he'd be comfortable talking to her about it.

Edward parked the car in his spot under the wide carport, and the pair made their way inside the building. When they paused in the hallway between their doors, she reached into her purse and began digging for her keys.

"So, I'm really glad you came with me tonight," Edward said shyly, an emotion she wasn't aware he even knew. "Actually, I'm glad about this whole weekend. You are such an amazing woman, thank you for letting me spend time with you and get to know you a bit."

He reached up to brush her hair out of her eyes. Bella's breath hitched as he leaned in, for just a moment she was sure he was going to kiss her, and despite truly wanting him to, she wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. She relaxed almost immediately when instead she felt his lips on her forehead and his gentle breath against her scalp. Somehow, she found this gesture more intimate than any kiss could have been. He lingered for just a moment before pulling back and looking at her with unsure eyes.

She smiled up at a him reassuringly. "I'm glad, too. Thank you for...everything this weekend."

His customary, playful smirk once again appeared. "My pleasure, ma'am," he joked, pulling out a hint of a Southern accent that affected her lower body more than she cared to admit.

The mischievous glimmer in his eyes told her he knew exactly what she was thinking. "Goodnight, Bella."

Bella shook her head with a small chuckle. "Goodnight, Edward."

She closed her door and heard his close moments later, just after she had turned the top lock with a loud click. It was obvious he had waited for her to be safely locked inside before he went in. Leaning back against the kitchen wall, she bit her lip, holding back a grin, and let out a girlish sigh. She had no idea how he did it, but he had reduced her to a giggling, swooning teenager-something she had never before experienced, even when she _was_ a teenager.

Several minutes later, she was finishing up getting ready for bed when her cell phone rang out Rose's ring tone through the quiet apartment. Quickly making her way into the bedroom, she grabbed it off the charger. "Hello, Mother. Yes, I'm home in time for curfew," she answered, laughing.

"You'd better be, young lady-what _would_ the neighbors say? Oh, wait...he _is_ the neighbor!"

The two laughed for a moment before Rose continued, getting right to the point, "But really, how was dinner?"

"It was great, actually. You know how I am about being around so many new people, it freaks me out, but everyone was so nice. I'm pretty sure his sister really is all kinds of crazy, but in an endearing way. And there's this couple, James and Marcus, who own this amazing-sounding bookstore, so you _know_ I'm in love with them."

"And Edward?" Rose pressed, not letting Bella get away with her purposeful omission.

"He's just...gah, Rose, there are no words. He's just so sweet and polite...he just seems like a really great guy. But, at the same time, I'm worried. This isn't why I moved here, it's not what this whole thing was about, you know?"

"I know you didn't move out there looking for anything, but would it be so bad if you found it anyway?"

"I moved out here to figure myself out, to do the shit I should have done years ago. I need to know that I can make it on my own, and if I latch onto the first guy who's nice to me...that's completely counter-productive."

"Oh, Bella-baby, what am I going to do with you? Stop over-thinking things and planning out the next twenty years instead of living in the next twenty minutes. You don't have to marry the guy! You seem to have fun with him, and you sound happier than I've heard in years...just go with that."

"I know. I just hate not having a plan; you know this, Rose! I want things settled so I can relax."

Rose scoffed. "I love you, B, really, I do. But that has to be the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. You had a plan, and things were supposedly settled before, but they weren't really-you were just complacent."

Bella knew that Rose was right, that her complacency really had driven her three thousand miles from home, just to try to break free of the rut. Still, it was hard to fully embrace taking things as they came, not knowing where they would take her. It was frightening and uncertain. And despite what Marcus and James had assured her of, that Edward was different with her, she just couldn't wrap her mind around that.

"I don't know what he could possibly see in me," Bella said lowly, laying her fears bare for her friend. "He's just so damned perfect, and I'm...not."

She could tell Rose was trying to suppress a laugh on the other end of the line, and Bella sighed in frustration.

"I swear I don't mean to laugh, but I've never seen you like this, Bella. You're like a walking cliche for every woman who's ever had a crush. It's kind of mind boggling, actually."

"Rosalie Gertrude McCarty, stop making fun of me! I'm actually trying not to freak out here." Bella growled.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay, first of all, I don't know the guy, obviously, but I swear to you, he isn't as perfect as he seems right now...no one is. And if he's worth anything, he thinks you're just as perfect. A crush is like the hormonal equivalent of beer-goggles. You have to wait for the effects to wear off to see if it's real."

Bella groaned again in frustration. She wasn't the most patient person in the world. She disliked loose ends and unanswered questions. And this whole situation had the potential for copious amounts of both.

"And did you really have to break out the middle-name-card, bitch? You _know_ I hate that," Rosalie grumbled.

The laughter that bubbled up from Bella at Rosalie's age-old gripe helped to ease the heaviness that had settled around them. Bella flopped backward on the bed, letting out an unintentional dreamy sigh.

"Okay, explain," Rosalie demanded, immediately picking up on Bella's shift in mood.

"Fine, just remember that this is all crazy, okay? I know I'm acting completely insane, but gah, I just can't help it," Bella replied, pausing dramatically before dropping her voice to continue. "He kissed my forehead at the door tonight."

Bella held her breath, waiting for Rose to respond.

There was nothing for a few seconds and then, "Okay, and?" Rose asked, sounding confused.

"And nothing, that's it. It was just so...sweet. I don't know, like I said, I know it sounds stupid," Bella rambled, slightly put-out by Rose's lack of enthusiasm. Sure, it wasn't the overly-dramatic on-field mauling that Emmett had wooed her best friend with all those years ago after he had won a huge football game, but it had effected her in a way that no other kiss had before. Even now, a full hour later, she could feel the exact place his lips had touched her skin, as if the memory of it was literally ingrained in her flesh.

"Holy shit," Rose whispered in awe. "You...wow." Her best friend was rendered speechless, completely confusing Bella.

"What?" she asked, trying to make sense of Rose's silence.

"Nothing," Rose chuckled knowingly. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

*~*~*~TSWYB~*~*~*

Tuesday afternoon, she made her way through the streets of Riverside, the cold air of the air conditioner at full-blast to combat the stifling heat, following James' directions to get to the bookstore. She felt almost giddy at the prospect of getting lost in the stacks, inhaling the familiar must and dust of old paper and running her fingers over the spines of books that held more secrets than just the story contained between their covers.

A small chime tinkled her entrance into the vast, organized chaos of the store. Marcus was sitting behind a half-circle counter placed in the entryway of the store, talking to a younger girl, obviously an employee. The store almost felt like a maze-rows branched off to the sides and back of the counter, some going straight back, some meandering off in sloping arcs, and still others turning at severe angles into unseen spaces. Everywhere she looked was packed with books from floor to ceiling, row after row, shelf after shelf. It was truly a paradise.

"Bella!" he yelled happily, jumping from the stool he had been perched on and rushing around the counter to greet her. "I'm so glad you made it out! I told James this morning at breakfast that I would be surprised if you didn't grace us with your gorgeous face sometime today."

He motioned towards the girl still behind the counter. "Bella, Bree. Bree, Bella. Bree, I'm taking Bella here for a tour. If I'm not back in an hour...wait longer." Bree and Marcus laughed at the joke, Bree rather indulgently, as if she heard that same line several times a week. "Well, come, come, dear, let me show you our baby!"

Bella smiled, immediately seeing how he and Alice were close friends; they obviously shared the same frenetic brand of insanity. Linking his arm through Bella's, he pulled her off to the left and began explaining their filing system, which from what she could tell had more to do with their personal feelings on the books than any actual key words or the Dewey System.

A full forty-five minutes later, they finally re-emerged into the brightly lit entry somehow entering opposite of where they'd started. "So, is James here?" Bella asked. "He said you guys had a couple of first editions he wanted to show me."

"Oh, those are his pride and joy, the first editions. He must have forgiven you for stealing his other man if he's willing to show them to you!"

Bella rolled her eyes, shaking her head; arguing was obviously futile.

Just then James came from a door labeled "Office" that she hadn't noticed earlier. "Well, forgive may be a bit too strong of a word...let's just say that I'm not going to hold it against you," he said with a laugh, leaning in to kiss Bella's cheek in greeting before walking to stand next to Marcus, wrapping his arm around the other man's waist.

"So, what do you think of the place?" James asked curiously.

"This is just...beyond words! I can't even begin to comprehend how you guys collected this many books, and you have everything under the sun. It's absolutely amazing!" Bella gushed, the awe and wonder evident in her tone.

"Well, we had a bit of a head start, since we bought the main building from an older gentleman who'd owned the store for almost thirty years, but the annexes are all ours. It's amazing what happens when you tell people you'll take their books and promise to take care of them and make sure they go to good homes. We cater to people who love _books_, not just stories."

"See, and that's how I know we're going to be great friends," she quipped in response.

Soon, James pulled her off to a locked room to the side where he housed the first editions. The feeling in this room was completely different than the rest of the store. The air was obviously conditioned to preserve the books; they were housed on rich, cherry colored shelves, with a couple of leather reading chairs and dark wood tables set around the space. It was easy to see that these books all held special meaning to him.

"I hope you guys don't ever expect me to leave. I'll sleep in this room at night and spend my days wandering the shelves out there," Bella said.

"I feel exactly the same way. Marcus complains because I spend most of my days here and have a hard time leaving for vacation even though we have a perfectly capable staff."

"So, do you sell these or are they just to admire?" she asked curiously.

"Well...I suppose eventually I might sell one...if I have to," James hedged, laughing lightly.

Bella, who was walking slowly around the room, taking in all the books housed there, stopped suddenly, her eyes widening when she saw her absolute favorite book of all time sitting on the shelf. There was an obnoxious stereotype that women who loved books had both a penchant for cats and English Victorian-era literature-neither of which were true for her. Bella had a love for all things satirical with a healthy dose of subversive social commentary, and to see a first edition of _Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy _made her laugh out loud in surprise.

She heard James chuckling behind her as she ran her finger over the spine affectionately, as if greeting an old friend.

"You _would_ pick that book out of all of them," he said, causing Bella to look at him questioningly.

"That one isn't mine...it's Edward's."

The coincidence of the situation didn't escape her, but more strangely, she wondered why Edward was housing a copy of a not-entirely-rare book in such controlled conditions. She asked James as much, but his uncomfortable evasion made her quickly drop the subject. For now, she would just chalk it up to more of the mystery that was her next-door-neighbor.

A few minutes later, Marcus called for James, and Bella stood to follow him out to the main store. Just as they reached the door, James reached out and gently touched her arm to get her attention. "I know Marcus jokes about how Edward is so taken with you, but you really have to be careful with him. He may come off as strong and carefree, but it's been hard-earned. I was here when he came back from Chicago the first time..." James trailed off, seemingly realizing that he was venturing into history that Bella wasn't familiar with. Before he could say anything else, Marcus called for him again, and the pair went in search of him, Bella's mind buzzing with questions about the man who was quickly becoming such a huge, unexpected part of her life.

*~*~*~TSWYB~*~*~*

By Thursday night, Bella realized that the only time she'd seen Edward was the evening before when he waved to her as he was pulling into their carport and she was pulling away. And even though she'd only spent a weekend with him in her life, his absence seemed odd and disconcerting. To remedy the situation, she decided to invite him to eat dinner with her.

After spending the morning working, she made her way to Publix to pick up the stuff she'd need to make lasagna and salad, hoping that he liked Italian food. She briefly considered calling Alice to check, but decided that she wasn't sure how the excitable woman would react, so better to keep things simple and casual-just dinner between two neighbors.

Somehow though, it felt anything but casual. Between the almost-kiss Sunday night, and the fact that the only men she'd ever cooked for were her father and Jake, she was feeling a bit nervous. And then there was James' warning about being careful with Edward to help round out the pressure she was feeling about the whole situation. But with a deep breath, she decided to take Rose's advice and just let things work themselves out.

Once things were set in the oven, she nervously ran her hands over her hair and tugged the bottom of her shirt down before striding across the hall and knocking on Edward's door. After waiting almost a full minute without a response, she tentatively knocked again, listening closely for any sign of movement inside. With a sinking feeling, she realized that he wasn't home.

A knot of disappointment lodged itself in her throat as she swallowed thickly trying to push it down. He wasn't a mind reader, after all, he couldn't have known she was going to ask him to eat dinner with her.

Just before she closed her door, she heard the one across the hall opening.

"Bella!" Edward called after her. She quickly turned around, her face likely a confusing array of emotions-lingering disappointment, confusion, surprise, happiness. "Sorry, I was just coming up the back steps when I heard the doorbell, and then I couldn't find my damned keys and my bag caught on the doorknob...uh, yeah, anyway," he paused, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck in embarrassment. "How are you?" he finished.

"I'm good. How are you? I guess you've been working a lot; I haven't seen you around," she replied shyly, still reeling from the emotional roller-coaster of the last couple of minutes.

"Yeah, my weekday schedule is pretty intense. I used to work weekends like that, too, but between Alice and my mom, they nagged me into easing up some," he said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I don't imagine that Alice loses arguments very often," she agreed. "So, um...I was wondering, and please feel free to say no, I'm sure you're really tired, but, would you want to have dinner with me? I threw together a lasagna and there was way more food than I meant to make." She ad-libbed the last part quickly, trying to save face.

Edward's face broke out in a huge grin. "I would love to, Bella. Actually, dinner with you sounds perfect. Do you want to come in for just a minute? I've got some wine, if you want to pick out a bottle, and I can change clothes really quick?"

Bella nodded, smiling at him brightly. For reasons she couldn't even begin to explain, this insignificant moment felt monumental, as if something, everything, was about to change. And for once, she didn't let the apprehensive flutters in her belly stop her, as she crossed the threshold into his apartment.

* * *

><p>AN: So, thoughts? Next chapter is more than half way written…it contains most of Edward's story.

I know, I know, I said this chapter wouldn't be long and then I *lied* and it was just an insane wait. But you guys are amazing and you're still here, and I'm so incredibly grateful for that! I'm really sorry for the delay, please don't hate me?

TSWYB was featured (again!) on The Fictionators, this time with an amazingly lovely review by coldplaywhore. I was completely blown away by the response the story has gotten from the recs there. It's been kind of crazy in the very best way possible, lol. But, thank you all for giving this little story a chance, I hope you stick around!

Thanks as always to Kas90, Sammielynnsmom, and KrisScott. You guys' suggestions and encouragements mean the world to me!

I own nothing. Until next time, ~Kimberly


	9. Chapter 9

She had quickly chosen a bottle of red wine from his small collection and set it on the kitchen table. Now, Bella stood in Edward's living room, taking in the space surrounding her, as she waited for him to emerge from the back where he was changing clothes. His apartment was fairly clean and much neater than she would have expected from a guy who lived on his own. There was a put-together element to it all that suggested that Alice had gotten her hands on the decor at some point. The brown leather couch was set up against the long wall, with a large television across the narrow room. Lining the walls were pictures; Alice and Jasper were pictured frequently, along with an older couple who were obviously Edward's parents.

Set off by themselves was a group of three photos that featured a younger-Edward with a woman about the same age with a shock of fiery red hair, cropped close and pale green eyes that practically danced with life. In one, they stood in the open bay door of an airplane geared up to sky dive. In another, they were repelling down the side of a cliff. And in the last one, they were sitting astride motorcycles-Edward's the same sleek, black one he had now, the woman's a shade of garish pink that sparkled in the sunlight.

She knew it was irrational, but she was instantly jealous of the obvious connection the two of them shared. There were no overt displays of affection to tell her if they were a couple, but either way they were obviously very important to one another. She was once again startled by the possessive feelings she felt toward him, despite having only known each other for a couple of weeks.

"That was Mekenna," Edward said quietly from behind her. Startled by voice, Bella spun around to face him, part of her wondering about his use of the past tense.

"I'm sorry, I was just..." she trailed off awkwardly.

"No, no, I have them up for people to see; it's just been a long time since anyone's really studied those particular pictures."

"Oh...um, who was she?"

Edward sighed heavily as if she were asking a question he had both been expecting and dreading. There was obvious pain as he thought about his answer.

She reached her arm out, resting it on his shoulder gently. "You don't have to talk about it, but if you want to, I'll listen." Internally she was wondering if she was going to have hunt this woman down and have a talking-to with her for hurting someone as sweet and genuine as Edward.

"It's a long story," he stalled.

Recognizing the same emotions coming from him as the they had from her the night by the river that he convinced her to let him in, Bella sat down on the couch, waiting him out with patient silence.

Several minutes passed as Edward stood transfixed before the pictures, obviously lost in memories. Finally, he shoved his fingers roughly through his hair and walked to sit down on the opposite side of the couch from Bella. He refused to make eye contact with her, which worried her, but he did eventually begin to speak.

"I met Mekenna towards the end of sophomore year at Northwestern. She was...larger than life. She just lit up a room when she walked in and was always nice to everyone. She was just so _genuine_. In a place where everyone was working so hard to figure out who they were, it was just so amazing to meet someone who had no doubts.

"For reasons I still can't figure out, she decided to be my friend. I was always the quiet, kind of nerdy guy who sat in the back, kept his head down, and did what he was supposed to. I wasn't a sad loner or anything; I mean, I had friends, even the occasional girlfriend, but I wasn't overly outgoing."

Bella's mind reeled, trying to imagine the same man who could lay down next to a complete stranger on a mattress on the lawn describing himself as quiet. The disparity between the two made her smile in disbelief.

Edward caught the brief flicker on her lips and smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"She pulled me out of my shell, just wouldn't take no for an answer when she got it in her head we should do something. I remember the day she took me sky diving," he said, nodding towards the picture on the wall of them in the plane. "We'd been friends for a couple of months, and really early that morning she knocked on my door and told me to get dressed, but wouldn't tell me where we were going.

"We drove for what felt like forever, watching the sun come up, until we came to an airstrip in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't until the instructor started going over safety instructions and how to operate the chute that I realized what we were doing. I have never been so scared in my entire life; I think I screamed the whole way down. But once we landed, it was like my whole world had tilted on its axis. I was _alive_!"

As he spoke, Edward became continually more animated, his eyes sparking and happy, lost in the memories. As carefree as he looked talking about his friend, Bella couldn't help the anxious feeling that the story wasn't going to end well, and after relating several stories about his and Mekenna's schemes and adventures, his shoulders suddenly deflated and his eyes took on the sad look he'd worn at the beginning of the story.

"I wanted to love her, but she kept me firmly at arms length like that, never allowing us to get any closer than friends. It tore at me, but I couldn't make the decision to walk away. I owed her too much to leave just because I couldn't have my way. She pushed me to date occasionally, but no one could touch her in my eyes; she was just so...intense," Edward paused, struggling to continue with the rest of the story. Without thinking, Bella scooted over to his side of the couch, taking his hand and leaning into his side, silently offering her support. He squeezed her hand in thanks, resting his cheek on top of her head.

"You remember how crazy senior year is, especially the last semester, so when I started seeing Mekenna sporadically, it really didn't register that there was anything wrong. I was swamped with classes, applying to grad school, just trying to get all my shit together. She said it was the same for her. As much fun as we'd always had together, it was never a question that it wasn't real life, it was a respite.

"When I did see her, she looked like shit. She was tired all the time and just so worn down, but I didn't even question it. I mean, we were all on edge, stressed beyond belief. She looked like a normal college senior, you know?"

Bella could feel the tears forming in her eyes, her mind already jumping ahead to the conclusion of the story. Even without knowing the exact details, she knew what was coming.

Edward took a deep breath, seemingly to center himself before continuing. "So, a week before graduation, I was at a breaking point and needed to just get out for a little while and I went to Mekenna's room. Her roommate answered, and the look she gave me...I just _knew_. I asked her where she was, and she told me the hospital. I don't even remember how I got there. I just remember seeing her in that bed. She was so fucking pale she almost blended in with the sheets.

"When she realized I was there, she stared at me for a minute, and I just...broke. After a bit I felt something hit my head and I looked up at her in shock. 'Edward Cullen, you knock that shit off, now! If I could get out of this bed, I would come over there and kick your ass!'" Edward imitated a strong female voice which made Bella's lips twitch involuntarily.

"She had a brain tumor. She'd known about it since the beginning of sophomore year, and there was nothing anyone could do but wait for it to kill her. She died three days after she went into the hospital, and the last thing she said to me was, 'Edward, if you puss out and get all emo on me instead of living, _The Shining_ is going to look like a fucking fairytale compared to what I'll do to you. You only get one life, don't you dare waste it.'"

Bella's tears began to fall as she recognized the words that Edward had said to her that night by the river. Words that had made him appear strong and wise at the time took on a completely different light now that she knew the circumstances in which he'd learned that truth.

His thumb brushing across her cheek startled her. "I'm sorry. You were nice enough to invite me to dinner, and I'm messing it up."

Shaking her head and quickly wiping away the remainder of her self-indulgent tears, she corrected him. "You have nothing to apologize for. We're friends, and I want to know about you...all of you. Mekenna sounds like she was amazing, and you were lucky to have known her."

"Yeah," he said with a small smile, "I really was."

The two sat in silence for just a moment, Bella wanting to ask so many questions, including what James had meant earlier about the first time Edward came home from Chicago, but she didn't want to push. He would tell her when he was ready.

"It's been a long time since I've talked about any of that," he said quietly. "Things were really hard for awhile. I was so lost without her, and it was especially difficult for everyone here, not knowing how to handle it. She wasn't my girlfriend, we weren't in-love, but...it was so much more than just losing my best friend. _She_ was more than my best friend. I know that makes no sense at all." He laughed hollowly.

Except Bella understood perfectly, because it was almost exactly how she'd felt about Jake. They weren't in-love, but it was something between friendship and love, more one and less the other, and wholly undefinable. And people couldn't understand what that was like if they had never experienced it.

"It makes perfect sense," she said. He smiled at her sadly, seeming to recognize what she was referring to.

"You remind me of her, you know," he announced, smiling gently.

Bella could only look at him confused. From what she could tell, there was nothing about her that would ever be described as larger-than-life. Not to mention that the only way she'd ever voluntarily jump out of an airplane was if her life depended on it.

"The day I met you, you were laying on the lawn, taking a nap. That was exactly the kind of thing Mekenna would have done. And then you gave me hell for laying down next to you. You have a fire, Bella, an effervescence. You keep it hidden, but it's there."

He paused, brushing his thumb down her cheek. Their eyes caught, and they stared at one another, seeming to speak without words. Bella realized that they were both leaning in, their noses almost touching, lips merely a breath away. And where days ago there was a hesitancy inside her, a fear that he would be unintentionally careless or reckless with her, now there was none. He _knew_, deeply and completely, the things she could never have put into words, all the ways she needed him to protect her heart.

"And I don't think you even know it's there," he whispered, breaking her from her thoughts. His words washed over her, so close that she breathed them in as he spoke. "But I see you, Bella, I see that. I see your spark hiding there behind your fears and resignation; I see it."

There was no way of knowing who closed the distance between them as their lips brushed against each other. It was as if the space had simply disappeared, melted away and left them pressed together in a kiss that was so much more than just a kiss.

Neither of them rushed or pushed; there was no demanding insistence or desperation. Their lips moved slowly, gently, his hands cradling her face, her hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. Noses caressing cheeks, teeth nibbling pouted, swollen flesh.

It was sweet and new; it was promises and promising. It was an acknowledgment that they had all the time in the world to figure out where they were going, and an assurance that they were going there together.

In a word it was perfect, and everything Bella had never known she was waiting for.

Several minutes later, their faces flushed, and wearing identical grins, they pulled away from one another.

"Dinner?" she inquired.

"Dinner," Edward agreed, standing from the couch, stretching his hand out to help her up. He kept her fingers clasped inside his, kissing the top of her head, before the pair grabbed the bottle of wine from the kitchen table and walked over to her apartment.

* * *

><p>AN: So, that's Edward's story. And they kissed! Thoughts?

I know this one was a little short, but there was a lot of information here and I didn't want to clutter it up with other stuff. Next chapter will be dinner and then time is going to start moving forward a bit so we can get to the rest of the story. If I had to guess, I would say we're looking at right around 20 chapters, give or take a couple.

I did want to also address some concerns about the supporting characters. I know that both Jake and James is usually a bad guys, but they really aren't in this one. So, please, rest assured that James is not going to suddenly decide to kidnap Bella because she stole Edward or Jake is going to suddenly decide to leave Rennie just because Bella is moving on. I wouldn't say this story is fluff, but it's not out-of-left-field unpredictable, either.

As always, thank you guys so much for reading and your encouragement and kind words, they truly mean so much to me!

Thanks to the usual suspects, Kas90, Sammielynnsmom, and KrisScott. Without them, this story wouldn't be nearly what it is.

I own nothing! Until next time, ~Kimberly


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you Kas90 for the amazingly fast beta-you are truly wonderful! I'm so sorry this is late! In my defense, I actually had a complete chapter written last week, but it was all wrong. It was entirely too heavy and didn't fit with the 'voice' of the rest of the fic. I like this one is much better; I hope you like it, too!

* * *

><p>Bella had the feeling they were riding on Edward's bike so that she couldn't spend the whole drive pestering him about where they were going. The wind across her face and the warm sun shining down on them made it hard to be disgruntled. She was surprised with just how taken she was with his motorcycle; the old Bella would have scoffed at the entire situation. Though, where Edward was concerned, she decided she should probably stop being surprised about anything anymore.<p>

Dinner that Thursday had been so comfortable, as if their sharing a meal together in her apartment was the most natural thing in the world. Being with him made her genuinely happy, a feeling she hadn't experienced in so long she couldn't remember when the last time was. There was something thrilling about not having a back-up plan or even a firm idea of where things were headed. She enjoyed his company, as he evidently enjoyed hers, and it wasn't any more complicated than that.

For a brief moment she had internally struggled, her old ways rearing their ugly head and causing her to fidget nervously as they'd sat on the couch talking after dinner. Noticing her discomfort, Edward had asked about it, and she'd quickly confessed her doubts. In spite of her new found confidence, she was still afraid of losing her fledgling sense of self in whatever it was between them.

"We're just two people getting to know one another, that's it, Bella. The connection we have is just an opening; it's up to us to turn it into something more. I won't lie, that kiss was amazing, and if it happens again, I definitely won't object." He paused, his grin a heart-stopping cross between cheeky and lascivious. "But I'm not in a hurry."

She had been disheartened to hear that he was going out of town for the weekend for work, though he promised her dinner at his house on Monday night. When she'd walked him to the door that night, she was struck with an odd sense of longing, as if she was already missing him. Much to her complete and utter shock, he had appeared at her door early Sunday afternoon, informing her he had a surprise for her. The only thing he would tell her was that she needed to wear a swim suit.

And so she found herself on the back of his motorcycle, hurtling towards destinations unknown on a hot summer afternoon. Being so new to the area, she was truly at a disadvantage in the guessing game, and so after a few minutes, she finally gave up, sat back (metaphorically, of course) and enjoyed the ride (quite literally). They took the bridge out of Riverside, this time forgoing the exit they'd taken to get to Jasper's bar, and continued on through a series of confusing interchanges, until they were on an open highway, riding for what felt like forever.

As they drove further on, the tightly packed buildings and bustle of the city gave way to flat, marshy land covered with river grass and dotted with short palmettos. The air took on a salty, musky tinge that reminded her of the beaches in Washington, only warmer.

After a while, they re-entered civilization, though the houses here were shorter and somehow more relaxed feeling than the ones in Riverside. When they passed through the entrance sign for Hanna Park, Bella couldn't help but wonder why they'd driven all this way just to go to a park. But the moment the scrub pines and palm tree stands gave way, it was easy to see what they were there for. There to her left were high sand dunes, the sunlight almost blinding as it reflected off their peaks, and sea grass waving in the wind. Beyond was the dark blue water and white-capped, rolling waves of the Atlantic Ocean.

Edward stopped the bike in a small parking lot next to a stand of trees that obscured their view of the ocean. Removing her helmet, Edward secured them to the bike and then took the backpack he'd asked Bella to wear for the ride.

"Well?" he asked, his look hopeful.

She grinned at him. "Perfect."

"Come on," he said, eagerly, returning her grin. Edward grabbed her hand and pulled her towards a boardwalk that wound through the trees that grew overhead, forming a canopy from the blistering heat. Walking through the trees, it was as if they'd entered a completely different world, one that felt prehistoric and ancient.

The look of wonder she wore was indicative of what she was feeling at the moment. This was truly like nothing she'd ever experienced before. The beaches back home were rocky and fairly cool year round. After they'd walked a short distance, she stopped at a bench built into a small landing to the side of the boardwalk. Edward sat beside her, and she leaned into his side, his arm resting comfortably around her shoulder. The pair just enjoyed the quietude of their surroundings.

"I never would have known this was here. I mean, I haven't had a chance to come to the beach yet at all, but I never would have made it out this way," Bella finally said, breaking their silence.

"Yeah, it's definitely a bit away from the tourist beaches, but it's one of my favorites."

"Just one of your favorites?" she asked, teasingly.

"Well, I couldn't take you to my very favorite spot, now could I? It's a secret; I have to make sure you're trust-worthy first." He laughed easily at the playful pout Bella wore in response.

Without hesitation, he leaned in, kissing her protruding bottom lip, stunning her into silence. "Now put that away," he said with a smirk.

Resisting the urge to keep pouting to see what he would do, she laughed instead, shaking her head gently.

"Ready?" he asked, standing and holding out his hand for her.

She stood wordlessly, brushing off sand from her shorts, before taking Edward's hand, and the two continued on the winding path.

Without warning, they took one final turn, and there before her was the beach, the beige sand and blue water both shimmering in the sun. What surprised her the most, though, was the sheer lack of people sharing the space with them. Looking up and down the shoreline, there were only a few other people dotting the landscape, but they were the sole occupants of this particular stretch of deserted beach.

"Where is everyone?" she asked as they trekked through the thick sand. In every picture she'd ever seen of Florida beaches, they were crowded with people almost sitting on top of one another.

"They're at the public beaches fighting for the ten parking spaces and getting sand kicked up on them by joggers and kids," Edward replied, laughing.

Edward paused a few yards from the water, just before the soft, loose sand became more compact, and pulled a large beach towel from the backpack, spreading it out gently. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Bella pulled off her shorts and shirt, leaving her in just her one-piece swimsuit before settling down comfortably on the towel.

She felt Edward's eyes on her, obviously trying not to stare as his eyes roamed her body. She smirked at him knowingly, happy that she was able to get a reaction out of him, despite being so much older. In obvious retaliation, Edward stood abruptly and peeled his own shirt off his body, leaving him in just his swim trunks, while her eyes almost popped out of her head. His chest was perfectly sculpted, not overly muscular but with delicious definition that made her hands ache to touch him. He chuckled lightly at her blatant ogling, before sitting back down.

Edward rummaged through the backpack for a minute before he pulled out a tube of sunscreen, motioning for her to sit in front of him. She was glad that he had thought ahead, otherwise she would have burned to a crisp.

The first touch of his hands was hesitant, as if he was gauging her reaction. Without meaning to, she found herself leaning into his touch, her breath quickening, which seemed to give him confidence, making his motions sure and steady. It was all she could do not to moan at the feel of his hands gliding over her exposed skin. All too soon, he was done with her upper back and shoulders, and handed her the lotion. She worked it onto the rest of her body, still dazed from the feeling of his hands on her, and trying to force her lungs to slow down.

She didn't have a chance to think about the potential awkwardness of her reaction to his touch, because as soon as she was finished applying the sunscreen, Edward stood suddenly, pulling her up from the towel, threw her effortlessly over his shoulder, and took off for the water.

She yelped in surprise and began smacking at his ass and lower back, playfully. "Put me down, Edward!"

"You want me to put you down?" he asked teasingly, letting her fall slightly, threatening to drop her into the water, which was now lapping at his chest and the backs of her thighs.

"No! Don't you dare," she yelled, laughing, while scrambling unsuccessfully to find a grip for her hands to prevent him from throwing her down.

"Okay, okay," Edward finally gave-in, setting her down in the water, steadying on her feet. The pair swam out past the breakers, until they could both comfortably tread water without fear of rogue waves taking them down. They stayed like that, bobbing in the ocean, talking about nothing for several minutes.

"Have you ever body surfed?" he asked when the conversation lulled.

Bella shook her head. "I have no idea what that is," she confessed, intrigued.

"Well, instead of using a surfboard, you ride the wave on your stomach." He paused, looking at her excitedly, and grinned at her dubious expression. "It's fun, I promise. I'll show you."

Bella had the feeling that her idea of fun and his might be two different things, but she decided to trust him. Really, the worst thing that would happen is that she might get some water up her nose, and truly there was the possibility of that happening even without body surfing.

The two swam back towards the shore, stopping where the waves began to swell under the water, but not breaking.

"Okay, you're looking for a big swell-you need a wave that's going to be able to carry you to shore. Once you see one you want to try, you throw yourself on top of it and swim like hell until it starts to break. If you do it right, it'll pick you up and move you with it," he said confidently.

"And if you do it wrong?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, if you do it wrong, you'll get very wet. Just remember not to panic of a wave pushes you down. I won't let you drown."

Her eyes widened at his statement...maybe water in her nose was the least of her worries.

"Okay, here comes one. Wait until you feel the water get cooler and deeper around you and then swim. Now!" Edward yelled and began paddling swiftly, his strokes even and sure.

Bella threw herself onto the building wave, trying to imitate his motions. She was pretty sure that her strokes looked nothing like his, but there was no time to worry about that because the wave was shifting underneath her rapidly, the top starting to curve over itself and crest in white peaks. For just a moment she thought maybe she was going to actually catch it, but suddenly, it broke on top of her, pushing her down below the surface of the water and sending her tumbling ass over end.

The water swirled around her in an opaque cloud of bubbles and sand, making it impossible to tell where the surface was. Her eyes strained to see through the haze as the water continued to twist around her, pushing and pulling on her body. What felt like minutes later, but was surely only seconds, strong arms grasped her shoulders and towed her towards the surface.

Bella broke the water, sputtering and gasping for breath, while Edward helped to shove her hair out of her face, seemingly checking her over for injury. As soon as the shock of the whole thing wore off, Bella found herself giggling and then out right guffawing.

"That...was...awesome!" she yelled to a stunned Edward, who moments later joined in, laughing with her.

The two spent the next while swimming back and forth across the waves. Bella managed to catch a couple of the waves, though it was admittedly more dumb luck than skill, and she even saw Edward wipe out a time or two, much to her amusement.

When they finally emerged from the water, they were tired, sore, and grinning from ear-to-ear. As they flopped back down onto the towel, she turned to him. "I hope you have some food in your bag-of-tricks, I'm starving!"

"Of course, what would a day at the beach be without sandy sandwiches?" he asked with a wink. He pulled a small soft-sided cooler from the bottom of the backpack, handing her a turkey sandwich and a bottle of water, before settling his own food in front of him.

"I hope turkey's okay. I didn't know what you wanted, so I guessed," Edward said between bites.

"This is perfect; you even got just the right amount of mayo. Nothing ruins a sandwich more than too much mayo."

Edward smiled at her compliment and the pair continued to eat in relative silence, their grumbling stomachs too insistent for much chatter.

After lunch, they laid back on the towel, Bella's head resting on Edward's arm, enjoying their full bellies and tired bodies in the warm sun. The quiet roar of the surf and the call of the occasional gull overhead were the only sounds they could hear.

She couldn't stop herself from comparing this beach trip to the only other time she'd spent at the Atlantic Ocean: Her and Jake's honeymoon to the Caribbean. And it struck her that for all the simplicity of a quiet day at the beach with Edward, it was still infinitely more fun and fulfilling than an entire week in a tropical paradise with Jake.

Of course, thinking of Jake made her think of the wedding invitation tucked into her desk drawer at home. Though truthfully, it was never far from her mind. She knew she had to make a decision, and soon, because it was hanging over her, making her feel almost claustrophobic with indecision.

She'd tried talking to Rose about it initially, but her best friend was just too close to the situation to be objective. Rose's take on it was that Jake didn't even deserve a response, much less Bella's presence. She said that he'd made his choice-he couldn't have his cake and eat it, too.

But Bella wasn't so sure. The thought of cutting her ties to Jake was unpleasant. Despite everything, they had been friends a very long time. But even if she didn't go, she wanted it to be an actual decision. She could have let the passage of time take care of it for her, allowing the date to pass without having made a formal choice, but that seemed like a cop-out. Much like the decision to read the letter, she knew she needed to decide this, not because Jake did or did not deserve it, but because she did. She was tired of letting life happen to her, and it seemed that living purposefully was important even when the choices were difficult.

"Hey, what are you thinking about so hard over there?" The sound of Edward's voice startled her out of her reverie.

Bella hesitated for a moment, unsure if she wanted to discuss this with Edward here and now. She opened her eyes ready to deflect him, but when she saw his earnest smile, looking so expectant and understanding, she couldn't lie.

"I have to decide if I'm going to Jake's wedding soon," she said evenly.

He looked at her curiously for a moment, his eyebrows knitting together, concentrating as if he were trying to work out a puzzle. It was an expression very reminiscent of the way he'd looked at her the day of their first meeting. She almost smiled, remembering the way he'd both rankled her and intrigued her.

"And you don't want to, or you think you shouldn't want to?" he said after a moment.

Staring at him in disbelief, she laughed to herself, mulling over the succinct truth in his words. "It really is as simple as that, isn't it?" she asked, shaking her head.

He shrugged in nonchalance. "It probably doesn't seem like it, but yeah, it really is that simple. Either you want to go, or you don't. And if you didn't, you would have already decided, so that leaves you wanting to, but hesitating about it for whatever reason."

"But what about how it looks? I don't want people to think I'm coming back because I'm pining over him." She paused, hesitating. "And I don't want their pity," she finished quietly.

He reached over, raising her chin so she'd meet his eyes. "Are you pining for him?" he asked roughly, his tone indecipherable.

"Absolutely not," she replied. She could feel Edward's body relax infinitesimally beside her.

"And there is absolutely nothing pitiable about you, Bella. You are an amazing, strong, giving woman."

She blushed at his compliment but remained silent, trying to decide how to answer him.

"I miss his friendship," she finally conceded. "I know we won't ever be as close as we were, but I miss having him in my life. We've been friends for so long that I just don't know how to not have that."

"And that's all that matters...not what anyone else thinks about it. You have to make the decision you can live with," he said quietly, and she knew that he was thinking of Mekenna.

A flock of sea gulls landed near them, distracting them from the heavy conversation with noisy squawking. They were both grateful for the diversion.

"I want to feed the birds," she said, grinning as she reached for the crust of her sandwich she'd stored in the cooler and began throwing crumbs to the flock.

Edward gave her a mildly horrified look.

"Those things are dirty, Bella," he admonished, but she paid him no mind, continuing to tear off small pieces of bread and throw them out towards the ever-multiplying flock of birds.

Bella heard him mutter, "Rats with wings," and she broke out in a fit of laughter.

"Did you just quote _Finding Nemo_?" she asked through her giggles.

"What?" he asked her with a falsely innocent look on his face. "I have two nephews; that's a legitimate reason for a grown man to know the words to a kids movie. And for the record, it's true! Sea gulls are disgusting." She couldn't tell if the sulky look on his face was because she was making fun of him or because he'd been caught. Either way, she threw the last of the bread to the gulls before leaning over him.

"For the record, I think it's adorable," she said, kissing his pouting lip without a thought.

The two stared at each other, both surprised by her forwardness, and suddenly hyper aware of the position they found themselves in. He was laid on his back on the towel, his bare, sculpted chest radiating heat, his suit low on his hips, and Bella's body tantalizingly covered by her suit that accentuated the soft, curving lines of her body. Her hair, still wet from their earlier swim hung around them, and their bodies pressed against one another.

They stared at one another for just a beat before Edward reached his hand around and pulled her down towards him without any resistance at all. Unlike their first kiss, this one was electric, their lips moving frantically against each other. Edward's hands roamed her back, exploring the dips and planes of her body, and teasing her into a frenzy with the mostly innocent touches. She was momentarily disappointed that her position had her at such a disadvantage, since her own hands were forced to hold her body up instead of running down the muscles of his torso like she'd been dying to do all day.

Suddenly, Edward yelled out in pain, pulling her body towards his and sitting up. There, perched by Edward's foot, was a lone sea gull, evidently put out by the abrupt end to his meal time, as he gave a single, accusatory caw.

"The damned thing bit me!" he grumbled, scowling at the gull, and flapping his arm to run it off.

Bella couldn't stop herself from laughing at the whole situation, and Edward eventually joined her. Once they'd calmed, they decided to gather up their stuff and head back.

A few hours later, they reconvened in Bella's apartment, freshly showered and both slightly pink from the afternoon in the sun.

"So, did you bleach your foot to the sea gull germs off?" she asked him cheekily from where she sat tucked into his side.

"Of course not," he argued, but the light pink at the tips of his ears gave him away. She laughed again, looking up at him with an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"I used peroxide...and I may have put antibiotic cream on it, too," he admitted sheepishly.

"I had an amazing time this afternoon. Thank you, really. It was…perfect," Bella said, letting him off the hook without further teasing.

Edward reached down, brushing his fingers through her hair. "It's nothing less than you deserve. I'm glad you liked it."

They sat talking quietly after that about nothing in particular, both warm and comfortable, until their words finally trailed off into quiet contentment.

"Come to Forks with me," Bella whispered suddenly.

"Hmm?" he said, sounding confused.

"For Jake's wedding. Will you come with me?"

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you guys so much for reading! I can't tell you how much I love knowing that you're still there with me. And your reviews mean the world to me, truly. I read and appreciate every single one!

Pics on the blog linked in my profile!

Love to the usual suspects, Kas90, Sammielynnsmom, and KrisScott! Thank you girls for your honest opinions, especially when it inspires me to add another 1K words in an hour, lol.

I own nothing. Until next time ~Kimberly


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: So...how are you? How are things? Long time, no see. Would it help at all to know that over a year ago the words just dried up and I haven't been able to write anything at all? Apparently my Muse is a fickle bitch. Pretty please don't hate me.

I've had this chapter finished for awhile, but was trying to get a handle on the rest of the story before I posted. Good news is the next chapter is finished, I just need to edit. I'm hoping to have everything wrapped up in 15 chapters total. I'll probably put Ch. 12 up next week or so. For the future chapters, I make no promises on posting schedule, but I hope to get it finished sooner rather than later.

No beta or pre-readers, so all mistakes or plot-manglings are mine.

Bella debated for almost a week over how to send the RSVP for Jake's wedding. He had included a note in the invitation, and she felt as if she should reciprocate, maybe explain the surely unexpected "plus one" she'd checked on the card. But in the end, she couldn't figure out what to say to him, how to explain a situation she wasn't sure she understood herself.

That night, after she'd so abruptly asked Edward to accompany her, she'd immediately felt a pang of self-consciousness. Not regret exactly, but that she had never in her life felt more exposed. That single moment carried so much weight, more than any other that she could recall. At the same time, she'd never been more true to herself and what she wanted. She wanted to see Jake, she wanted to show him that they had both made the right decision, and she wanted Edward there by her side.

Edward in his quiet, understanding way had immediately reassured her.

He'd merely stared at her a moment, murmuring a quiet, "Are you sure?" At her silent nod, he'd squeezed her shoulder, grinned broadly, and replied with an emphatic, "Absolutely."

By silent, mutual understanding they hadn't spoken of the trip again, and not for lack of things to figure out. But when it came down to it, Bella had put herself out there, made the leap of faith, and neither of them wanted to take from that moment. In the end, nothing else was important. She wanted him there, he wanted to be there for her. The implications and details could be worked out later.

And that same surety was what had finally allowed her to send the invitation to Jake without further explanation-there simply wasn't one.

If only telling Rose was that easy. Bella had been putting off telling her best friend not just about Edward's attendance, but even the fact that she had decided to come to Forks at all. She knew her friend, and it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. And then there was still her father to inform of her trip. If she thought Rose was going to be a hard sell, Charlie Swan was going to be immovable in his opposition. But despite the knot in her stomach at the anticipated conflict, she couldn't help feeling that she was making the right choices.

As she dropped the RSVP into the building's outgoing mailbox, she was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Edward's front door opening, followed by a short knock against her own.

"I'm down here," she called out, smiling.

He quickly descended the stairs, still wearing his work clothes, though his tie was now hanging loosely around his neck and the sleeves of his white dress shirt were folded just above his elbows. She was surprised by the twisting low in her belly, the distinct curl of desire spreading through her.

Edward smirked knowingly, moving to embrace her familiarly, his nose skimming along the line of her neck before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Whatever are you thinking about, Bella?"

She could only shake her head, unwilling to acknowledge the sexual tension that had been building between the two.

"Fine, keep your secrets," he whispered near her ear, sending chills through her, and leaving little doubt that he had some inkling of what she'd been thinking.

Bella cleared her throat lightly, taking a step back to put some much needed space between them.

The self-satisfied chuckle that escaped Edward made her roll her eyes. "So, what's for dinner?" he asked, instead of pushing her further. They had fallen into the habit of eating dinner together almost every night, alternating between her place and his. Tonight was her turn.

"Um, are leftovers okay? I had a late lunch with Jamie and Marcus and didn't feel like cooking," she asked as they made their way back up the stairs towards her apartment.

"Whatever you want, is fine with me. Today was insane, and all I want is to hang out with you and relax."

She squeezed his hand in agreement, opening the refrigerator and pulling out plastic containers of food. Edward began chopping vegetables for a salad, working comfortably beside her, until twenty minutes later they were ready to sit down.

They ate their dinner, talking amicably about their days and plans for the weekend. Bella smiled to herself, thinking about just how comfortable their routine had become and how well Edward fit into her life. But it was a different kind of comfortable than she'd had with Jake. She had lived with Jake for three years, but she knew now that it was really just a coexistence; their life together was about companionship, not need. Edward was quickly becoming an integral part of her life.

Later, after cleaning the kitchen, they were sitting on the couch, Bella tucked into Edward's side, mindlessly watching a rerun of _The Daily Show_. When it was over, he picked up the remote to turn it off before turning toward her.

"So, I need to put in for time off for the trip to Washington. Do you know what days we'll be there?"

"Well, the wedding is November twelfth, which is a Saturday. I was thinking we could go Thursday and come back Sunday. We'll have to rent a car and drive from Seattle to Forks, and that's about a three hour drive."  
>He hummed his agreement thoughtfully, obviously having more on his mind.<p>

"What?" she finally asked him curiously.

"Well, I was just wondering...where, I mean...will I, uh...oh, hell. Are we both staying at your dad's house, or should I get hotel?" Edward finally rushed out.

Bella's face immediately warmed, as thoughts of sharing a bed with Edward filled her head. Although she'd fallen asleep in his arms more than once on the couch after dinner, he'd always woken her up and they'd parted ways, though rather reluctantly. She got the feeling he was waiting for her to make the next move. He teased her about the obvious tension between them, but he made no effort to take them out of the limbo they were currently in.

Somehow in the excitement of asking him to come with her, that little detail had completely escaped her.

Clearing her throat uncomfortably, while avoiding his eyes, she answered, "Um, I guess I didn't really think about this part. My dad's house only has two bedrooms. There's a couple of hotels nearby though. Forks is really small, so it's not like we'll have to drive far to get anywhere. I'll call tomorrow and book something. I'm really sorry for not thinking about it."

"No big deal." Edward reassured her with a smile. "If you'll just give me the names of the places, I'll make the calls."

Bella blanched as she realized the implication of making the calls himself. She came from a small town. A very small town. It had taken her less than a week from 3,000 miles away to learn about a secret pregnancy. She didn't even want to think about the fact that as soon as Edward made his reservation the conjecture over who he was would begin immediately, and most likely get back to Rose, and she would easily figure it out.

Edward, of course, noticed her less-than-enthusiastic reaction and looked at her questioningly. Forcing her brow to smooth out, she gave him a small smile. "Um, that sounds good," she said, her voice belying her apprehension. Thankfully he didn't press her for answers, though there was a slight tension between the two that wasn't there just moments before.

After Edward had left for the night, Bella let out a deep sigh, sitting heavily on the couch and leaning her head against the back in frustration. It was so easy to be brave when it was just Edward, but dealing with the rest of the world was quickly weakening her resolve to be different.

The next morning Bella woke up exhausted, having spent the entirety of the previous night tossing and turning, plagued by odd, disconcerting dreams. The growing sense of apprehension pushed her out of bed, and she started her day feeling out of sorts and tired. By lunch, she could no longer stand the worry gnawing her stomach, so she picked up the phone, took a deep breath, and dialed Rose's phone number. There was no way in hell she was dealing with Charlie first.

"It's about damned time you called me. I was beginning to think you'd died." Rose admonished her as soon as she answered the phone, though her relief was obvious. "Don't tell me, you and Edward finally stopped dancing around each other and have been having wild, monkey sex. Is he hung like a horse?"

"Jesus, Rose! No we haven't been having sex-wild, monkey, or otherwise."

She heard her best friend mutter, "Pity," under her breath, but thankfully the topic was dropped.

"Okay, so you weren't getting laid, and you're obviously still alive and kicking, so why the hell haven't I heard from you in a week!"

"I've just been busy. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry you," Bella said. "And, well, I guess I had a lot on my mind, too. I finally decided what to do about Jake's wedding."

"You're coming, aren't you?" Rose asked accusingly. "Don't get me wrong, I miss you like crazy and want to see you. I just don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. He doesn't deserve your support."

Bella remained quiet for a minute, angry tears already forming as she staunchly refused to let them fall. "Did it ever occur to you that I'm not doing it for Jake? Because I'm _not_. I'm doing it for me, Rosalie. Me. _I_ need to be there.

"I don't know how else to explain it to you to make you understand. And frankly, I shouldn't have to. I hear what you're saying. I'm fully aware of how you think I should feel and react. Now, what I need is for you to be my best friend and support me, even if you don't understand my reasons or agree with me. Even if you think I'm choosing wrong."

Rose finally broke the tension between the two. "Sometimes it's hard to believe you've only been gone two months. You're so different than you were when you left here. You've stood up for yourself more in the last month than I can ever remember before. And I know I'm bitchy and overbearing, Bella-baby. But it's hard to let go, you know?"

Bella could hear her friend's voice wavering. "Rose..." she said quietly.

"I just worry that you...I don't know." Rose paused tearily. "I don't want you to not need me anymore. But you're right, even if I don't understand why you need this, I'm here for you."

"Oh, Rose. What am I going to do you with you? Of course, I still need you. I'll always need you. Just because I'm getting better at standing up for myself, doesn't mean that I'm not the same neurotic mess I've always been. I'm just an outspoken, neurotic mess." Bella laughed, her voice thick.

"Okay, good. So, what does Edward think about you coming to your ex's wedding?" Rose asked, trying to change the subject, though Bella could still hear her sniffling quietly.

"Well..." Bella hedged.

"Oooh, this sounds good-spill, Swan!"

"He's um...kind of coming with me?" Bella cleared her throat, trying to brush off the apprehension.

"Holy shit...that's just...wow. I don't even know what to say."

"I know! I didn't even mean to ask him, but he said he would come and it just...felt right, you know?"

"Charlie is going to shit a brick," Rose said matter-of-factly.

"Well, Edward's going to make reservations at one of the hotels. So hopefully Charlie won't have a heart attack over me bringing him home with me."

"Uh, yeah, Edward won't be getting a room, at least not in Forks for that weekend," Rose said, sounding oddly amused.

"What do you mean? There are two hotels, and most of the guests are local, how the hell are they going to take up both of them?"

"Well, the Molina's had to close up The Forks Inn after a pipe burst. The contractor came in to give them an estimate and found a bunch of other stuff that had to be taken care of. They're not re-opening until the spring."

"Okay, so that leaves the Dew Drop. There's like ten rooms here, surely there's one left," Bella insisted, her heart sinking.

"Nope, sorry," Rose said. "Apparently, Rennie's family decided to all stay up here since it's a couple of hours to Hoquiam, plus Jake's sisters are flying in. Even the couple of B&Bs are booked up."

"Shit," Bella whispered, barely resisting the urge to start banging her head against the wall. Why couldn't anything be simple?


	12. Chapter 12

Not pre-read or beta'd, so all mistakes and plot manglings are mine.

* * *

><p>It was hard to believe it was already early October, only a month until the wedding, and several days since Bella had talked to Rose. Things between her and Edward had been strange, with an awkward tension replacing their previously easy-going relationship. They still ate dinner together every night, hanging out for a few hours before heading to their own, separate beds, but now there were things unsaid between them, questions unasked.<p>

Bella knew what the problem stemmed from, but she felt unsure how to fix it. There was no simple way to tell him that her overprotective, Chief-of-Police father's couch was the only nearby option for accommodations. And that brought up the other problem: telling Charlie.

It was one thing when she just had to tell Charlie she was bringing a guest who would be staying at a hotel. But telling him she was bringing a guest, _a male guest_, and that he would have to be civil and allow him to sleep in his home? She may have been a grown woman, but still, that was not a conversation she relished having.

A loud knock on the door, followed by two smaller knocks lower down startled Bella from her thoughts. She checked the peephole, surprised to see Alice standing there. Opening the door for her, she was further surprised when two small, rambunctious boys barrelled their way into her apartment.

"Alec! Liam! I swear to god, if you don't get back here right now, you're going to get it!" an obviously frazzled Alice yelled after them.

The pair stopped in their tracks, looking back at their mother seemingly gauging the sincerity of the threat. Alice's raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes must have been just as menacing to them as it seemed to Bella because the boys both sighed in resignation and trudged back to stand by her side. "Sorry, Mommy," they spoke in unison, with matching pouts and big, sad blue eyes.

Alice smiled smugly at the boys, before leaning over to kiss their identical curly blond heads, all obviously forgiven. "Now, what did we talk about on the way over here," she prompted them.

The boys looked at one another, their confusion clear before one of them suddenly remembered. "Oh! Hello, Ms. Bella. I'm Liam. Do you wanna go for a walk with us and Mommy?" Liam stuck his pudgy hand out towards Bella, which she promptly shook, feeling quite shell-shocked at the whirlwind introduction. Though, truly, by now she was coming to expect the feeling when being introduced to members of Alice and Edward's family.

"Hello, Mr. Liam," she replied, crouching down to his eye level. "It's nice to meet you. And you, too, Mr. Alec." Alec merely blushed profusely when she took his hand to shake it, seemingly the more reticent of the two.

"So, do you wanna come for a walk? Mommy said we're gonna go the park with the big slide and maybe go get ice cream," Liam rambled on, bouncing in excitement, almost knocking Bella over from where she still sat crouched in front of him.

She glanced up at Alice, whose trained look of innocence made Bella immediately suspicious. Despite the work she knew she had piling up in her inbox, she shrugged her shoulders, deciding that maybe a short walk would help her clear her head so she could focus better later on.

"Sure, Liam! I'd love to come for a walk with you!"

The little boy started jumping up and down in excitement, his brother only giving her a satisfied nod, indicating his more reserved approval.

After locking up, the four of them set off. The adults were pulled along by the pair of eager boys, forcing them to walk at a brisk pace as they made idle conversation about nothing of consequence. Once they'd arrived at the park, they sat down on a bench with a good view of the playground while the boys ran headlong towards the slide, chattering happily.

They watched the kids in silence as Bella waited for Alice to explain her unexpected appearance. It wasn't long before she she turned toward Bella.

"So, I had an interesting conversation with Edward the other day," she said casually.

Immediately Bella felt her shoulders tense and her heart rate pick up, though she tried to appear unaffected. "Yeah?" she replied.

"It seems _someone_ invited him to a wedding," Alice went on, her tone teasing, but with an edge.

"Well, um...yeah. I asked him to come with me back to Washington." Bella hoped she sounded sure of herself, though she had no idea where the conversation was headed.

Alice didn't elaborate any further, simply letting the silence between them build, leaving Bella to wonder just what she was getting at. It didn't take long before she couldn't stand the quiet anymore.

"Did he say anything else?" she asked.

"Well, just that he was waiting on the name of some hotels. I told him to just google it, but he said he thought he should wait."

Bella's stomach dropped and the feelings of guilt and apprehension surged through her. She truly hoped that Alice hadn't brought her out here to read her the riot act. She didn't strike Bella as being particularly meddlesome, maybe over-excitable, but not nosey. Bella chose not to comment. She didn't know what to say to Edward, so she really didn't know what to say to his sister.

"I'm not here to scold you like a naughty kid. You're both grownups and you'll have to work this out on your own. I just wanted to ask you to be straight with him. Whatever it is, he can take it."

Alice paused, looking off at her boys running around, though Bella could see her eyes grow glassy.

"The hardest part about the whole thing with Mekenna was that she kept it from him. I get that she was trying to protect him, but it was so much harder on him when she was gone so suddenly. He felt like she lied to him, and she wasn't there to talk to him about it."

Of all the things Bella had expected Alice to say, that was probably the furthest from her mind. And yet it made her heart ache in understanding. Edward was always so confident and self-assured. It had never occurred to her that she might actually be hurting him, that she had that kind of power.

"Alice, it's not like that," she said, feeling the need to explain herself, but was gently cut off when Alice laid her hand on top of Bella's and shook her head.

"You're a good person, Bella. I know that. Whatever it is, you aren't doing it to hurt him. But he's my brother, and I can't pretend to be impartial. I meant what I said about it being between the two of you; my opinion doesn't matter. I truly just wanted to ask you to talk to him."

Bella found her respect for her new friend grow exponentially. "I will. I promise," she quietly replied, hoping that Alice heard the sincerity.

Just then the boys ran up, sweaty and dirty, begging for ice cream, oblivious to the heavy air surrounding the two adults. Alice quickly switched back into "mom mode", letting go of the tension and grinned over at Bella.

"What do you think, Ms. Bella? Ice cream for the dirty, smelly monkeys?"

Bella quickly followed her lead and pretended to consider the suggestion. "Hmmm...I don't know. I guess as long as I can have some, too." She laughed as the boys began once again bouncing around and pulling on her and Alice's hands.

"Thanks, Bella," Alice said happily. And Bella was sure she didn't just mean for agreeing to ice cream.

Later that afternoon, Bella found herself knocking tentatively on Edward's door, her stomach twisting uncomfortably. She was still torn between wanting to hide from this conversation and knowing that Alice was right, Edward deserved the truth. And as much as the thought of him changing his mind about coming hurt, she knew she couldn't put it off any longer.

Suddenly the door swung open, and Edward greeted her in only a white towel wrapped low on his hips, a spattering of water droplets still sliding down the contours of his body. She stared for a moment, watching one drop in particular glide across his abdomen, until it hit the towel and was absorbed.

Edward softly clearing his throat brought her attention back upward and she blushed profusely. His familiar smirk was there, but there was something off in his eyes, a small shadow that she knew wasn't there just days before.

"Hey," she started. "I, um...wanted to talk to you. But it looks like you were busy, so I'll just..." she trailed off.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm not busy," he replied, sounding somewhat anxious. "Give me a minute to get dressed, and I'll come over, okay?"

She could only nod, her head still foggy from the competing emotions roiling inside her.

Several minutes later, they were seated on each end of her couch, an unfamiliar space between them.

"So, ah, you wanted to talk?" Edward prompted, after several awkward moments.

Bella took a deep, centering breath before starting. "Yeah. See, the thing is, I haven't been avoiding talking about the trip...I mean, I have, but not because of you or anything. I called to get a hotel room and there aren't any. It's a long story, but apparently the only place for you to stay is my dad's house.

"And you're welcome to! Don't get me wrong, you're more than welcome to, but it's just...it's going to be awkward and weird. And I kind of still haven't told him yet because well, frankly, I'm scared." She had studiously avoided looking at him while she rambled on, and even now that she was finished, she more looked towards him than at him, afraid of what she would see if she looked too closely.

Edwards laugh was almost startling, considering the tension she was experiencing over the conversation.

"Really? That's it? Here I thought you had changed your mind and were trying to find an easy way to let me down! Your dad's couch is fine. It's not like he'll actually shoot me, right?"

"Uh, yeah, no, I don't think he'll really shoot you. So, you're sure you don't mind?"

Sensing her need for reassurance, Edward moved closer, closing the gap between them, and taking her hand in his. At once the contact visibly eased the tension that each had been holding on to.

"Bella, I wouldn't care if we had to sleep in a tent! Going is important to you, and I want to be there for you. Whatever we have to do to make it happen, we will. And really, what exactly is your dad going to do? We're both adults. Worst case scenario, he says I can't sleep on his couch, in which case, we'll figure out something else."

"I don't think he'll say no, but I don't think he'll be happy about saying yes, either. The thing about Charlie is that he's a black and white kind of guy. There's no such thing as 'complicated' or 'undefined'. In his mind, things are what they are. He's going to assume that because you're coming with me that you're more than just a friend, and honestly I'm not sure how to present our relationship to him. I mean, it feels wrong to tell him that you are just a friend; you're so much more important than that."

Bella's eyes widened at the end of her rant, realizing just how much she had revealed, and although she was relatively sure that Edward was on the same page, it still felt like too much, too soon.

He reached out and held her cheek in his hand, caressing the soft skin with his thumb. "Hey, hey, calm down. It's okay. _I_ know that it's complicated, and I'm not pushing you. If you want to tell him I'm your friend, I'm fine with that. If you want to tell him it's something more, I'm fine with that, too. The only thing that matters to me in all of this is that whatever we are, we figure it out together, and you let me be there for you."

The sincerity in his eyes and the feeling of him holding her in his hands, caused Bella's breath to hitch, suddenly aware of just how close they were. Her eyes flickered between his and his lips, pleading for him to make a move, to push just a little.

And, as he always did, Edward seemed to know exactly what she was asking for, closing the distance between them, pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was nothing like their first. There was a slight bite of possessiveness in this kiss, his mouth claiming hers, and hers yielding, allowing him to show her what she wasn't ready to hear - that there was nothing ambivalent about the feelings between them, nothing undefined.

The heat of the kiss continued to burn between them, pulling them closer together, pressing them against one another, hands roaming, teeth nipping. The thrill of want that coursed through Bella's body wasn't like anything she'd ever experienced before. Not that she hadn't felt desire or hunger before, but the sheer ache of need to be closer to this man, to take up residence inside him and never leave was a sensation whose existence she had long since dismissed as fantasy.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him in that moment, so many words and wants that would be so easy to give into, but she knew that there would be no way back from them if she wasn't truly ready. So, instead she said the one thing she knew she wouldn't regret, the one thing that she could give him that would help ease the ache between them, if not fully slake the thirst.

"Stay." She whispered against his lips.

He pulled away in surprise, his eyes searching hers before leaning his forehead down to touch her own. "Always."

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you all for the welcome back! I'm working on Ch. 13 now, but it may be closer to 2 weeks before it's ready. I look forward to hearing from you all!


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